Sunday, August 31, 2008

Day 350...aHhHh...a fReSh sTaRt...

Well, another week has gone by. I've had week filled with ups and downs...highs and lows. I've laughed and cried. I think that it is easy for me to get "bogged down" worry and be afraid. I want so badly to feel know I'm loved...liked...needed. I'm not sure that those desires are so bad...but I am sure that when I search for these things in other people...I set myself up for sadness. I guess I should clarify...I'm not talking about people letting me down...I'm talking about ME choosing to relinquish my happiness to the people around me. It's not fair to me...and it's not fair to them. It is not other people's "job" to MAKE me happy. I need to look within. Bodies sag...looks fade...and friends come and go. I think that these are the things I'm basing my happiness and validation on. Do I LOOK enough? Do I look old? Did I get a compliment? Did the person that I wanted attention from give it to me? etc etc etc

This is not the basis for happiness. Happiness is being happy with the reflection in the matter what...whether there are wrinkles or not...whether I am at my desired weight or a little over...whether I'm having a pretty day or whether I wake up with a zit. Happiness is loving...without any expectations. Happiness is going to bed knowing that you gave your best in all that you did...and knowing that tomorrow is a new day...a fresh start if things did not go as you wished. Happiness is being healthy...not hot. Happiness is about what you give...not what you get.

I'm so glad that every night, I go to sleep and wake up the next morning to a new day. This week I want to try to just BE HAPPY. I want to be in charge and choose my emotions. It is a relief to wake up knowing that this is a new week...a fresh start. Now, I just need to take a deep breath and take advantage of this opportunity. Ahhh...a fresh start...



Shorty said...

It's hard when you try to validate yourself and say all those positive things that we try to believe about ourselves all the time when all we want is to hear it from someone else. Yes, we know we are valuable and can reach amazing goals, but isn't it nice when we can hear it from those who are close to us? Just a little unsolicited pat on the back every now and then. Well, M, you deserve a ton of kudos! You work hard all the time and you inspire others to do the same. Hopefully, whatever relationships are bringing you down will move quickly into a more positive phase so you can feel more reassured about them, or at least your role in them.

On another note I am so flattered you added my blog to your site! Thank you for doing that! I already added you to mine, but I just didn't do the courteous thing and ask first. My apologies for not following better protocol!

Have an awesome week, my friend!

MC said...

Thank you so much! I always appreciate your comments. And about "protocol" such thing...I LOVE reading your blog and I'm shocked that my boring life and neurotic thoughts and feelings are interesting to anyone else. Ha!