Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Day 332..."ScReW yOu!"...

"DOUBT WHOM YOU WILL, BUT NEVER YOURSELF." ~Christian Nestell Bovee

Today at the gym, I said that I would call today's post "Screw You!". Reason being...I said it...more than a couple of times...to my workout buddy. I wasn't serious...we were just givin each other a hard time. I'm a woman of my word so here it is!

Something interesting happened. I thought this post would be so titled for obvious reasons...but in the end...this title isn't about anyone else. It's about...ME...about the way I treat MYSELF...about the voices in my head that break me and tear me down. I leave no room for error or growth. I expect perfection...everyday...all the time. This may be hard for people to believe because outwardly I am FAR from perfect. The end result may not be evident...but the desire remains...perfection. I wanna lift more...heavier. I wanna jump higher...further. I wanna know...everything.

I came so close to losing it while I was doing weighted reverse lunges off a step. The tears were right there. I kept them from falling, but they clouded my vision. I wanted to lunge back...and spring back up on that step...powerfully...like A does. I struggled, but in the end I did it...I finished. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear the encouragement and praise I was getting from A because the voice in my head was too loud. It drowned out all other noise. This is what I heard..."I'm weak!" "I suck!" "I should give up." "I'll NEVER improve." etc etc etc. I even wrote the words "i suck!" beside my weight on my training log. I got over it...kinda...and we finished...and went our separate ways...him to eat healthy...and me...I won't say...but it wasn't the definition of healthy eating.

A texted to remind me to "take it easy" on myself ...to tell me that I did well. I hate to admit it...but I in fact WAS beating myself up...and I DID appreciate his advice. He said "no self pity"...he even gave me one of the best compliments you can give me. If you call me a bad a**...I'll love you forever! So, as I thought about today on my drive home from the store...I realized that the one I need to say "Screw You!" to...is the voice that tells me I'll never be good enough. When the doubts start to creep into my head...and the internal insults begin...I need to say it...and mean it. "SCREW YOU!" I won't be successful until I do.

WARMUP
--------------
DYNAMIC WARMUP

WORKOUT
-----------------
BROAD JUMP 6.25 FEET- 7X
jump 3 times and find the average length...mine was 6.25 ft...then jump as far as my average as many times as possible until I can no longer reach the mark. I jumped 7 times successfully and failed on my 8th try.

then:
REVERSE LUNGE OFF 6 INCH STEP HOLDING 70 LB BARBELL - 10 REPS/4 SETS

then:
10 KETTLE BELL SWINGS (1.5 POOD = 53 LBS)
3 SETS

then:
15 "SPREAD EAGLE" SIT UPS HOLDING A 20 LB DUMB BELL OVER HEAD
4 SETS

2 comments:

arik said...

i think you should say missed instead of failed on your jumps... you didn't miss anything, you were right on jumping like a friggin' kangaroo. BADASS!

MC said...

LOVE it! Thanks amigo!

-M