Day 350...aHhHh...a fReSh sTaRt...

Well, another week has gone by. I've had week filled with ups and downs...highs and lows. I've laughed and cried. I think that it is easy for me to get "bogged down"...to worry and be afraid. I want so badly to feel validated...to know I'm loved...liked...needed. I'm not sure that those desires are so bad...but I am sure that when I search for these things in other people...I set myself up for sadness. I guess I should clarify...I'm not talking about people letting me down...I'm talking about ME choosing to relinquish my happiness to the people around me. It's not fair to me...and it's not fair to them. It is not other people's "job" to MAKE me happy. I need to look within. Bodies sag...looks fade...and friends come and go. I think that these are the things I'm basing my happiness and validation on. Do I LOOK good...pretty...fit...thin enough? Do I look old? Did I get a compliment? Did the person that I wanted attention from give it to me? etc etc etc

This is not the basis for happiness. Happiness is being happy with the reflection in the mirror...no matter what...whether there are wrinkles or not...whether I am at my desired weight or a little over...whether I'm having a pretty day or whether I wake up with a zit. Happiness is loving...without any expectations. Happiness is going to bed knowing that you gave your best in all that you did...and knowing that tomorrow is a new day...a fresh start if things did not go as you wished. Happiness is being healthy...not hot. Happiness is about what you give...not what you get.

I'm so glad that every night, I go to sleep and wake up the next morning to a new day. This week I want to try to just BE HAPPY. I want to be in charge and choose my emotions. It is a relief to wake up knowing that this is a new week...a fresh start. Now, I just need to take a deep breath and take advantage of this opportunity. Ahhh...a fresh start...

SUNDAY = REST DAY

Day 349...sUrPriSe...

I woke up...tired. My husband asked me what I was doing as far as working out today. It went something like this...(him) "You working out with A?"...(me)"No, we haven't worked out since Monday."...(him)"Why not?"...(me)"I'm not sure. He's either been busy or hurt or...well I don't know...I'm really fighting the urge to think that he doesn't wanna workout with me anymore."...(him) "Did he say that?"...(me) "No...it's just a sense."...(him) "Don't assume or read anything into it."...(me) "I'm trying...hard. A told me that that is not true, so I'm choosing to believe him. It's just hard. I liked working out together. I miss it."...(me...a few minutes later) "What are you doing today?"...(him) "I need to learn push press for a workout I want to do next week." My ears perked up and I offered to teach him. He accepted. We gathered our kids up and headed to the gym.

As we turned the corner and got closer to the gym...I saw A's truck pull up to the gym. I was surprised. He trains K on Saturday, but they usually meet at the park. I got out of my car and went around back to open the door and turn off the alarm. As I came back around, A was lookin around his car...no hello...good morning...or anything of the sort. I felt strange and uncomfortable...like he was surprised...not happy to see me. It was distinctly different than usual. I was glad that I was there to turn off the alarm. That would've sucked for them if he went in and the alarm was set. We went in and he began to set up for K and I had my husband go run to warm up.

A was kinda sarcastic with me...the whole time. Then he sat and told K stuff that he hasn't told me...loud enough for me to hear...pretty significant things...like how he's trying to get his move to Israel moved...so he can leave sooner than originally planned. Wow...we talk almost EVERY day and he's never mentioned that to ME. =( We're friends for heaven's sake! He also told K how when he leaves, he'll give him his workout "gear"...tires...(uh! I'd LOVE a tire to drag!) The sad part was that K didn't seemed too interested. I just thought..."Why wouldn't he offer anything to me?" I don't need "THINGS" in order to be friends with people. I'm all about giving. I've tried to always be a good friend to A. I've cared. I've listened. I've rearranged my schedule to workout...so that I could workout with HIM...because I WANTED to work out with him. I never asked for anything...just help working out...kindness. That's what I've gotten...what happened? What is going on? It made me kinda sad but I refused to let it show. I think I was more surprised than anything, because our interaction felt so different...so strained. I probably shouldn't say these things, and I'm not tryin to "bag" on A....it's just that I have to be able to express my feelings...somehow. Also, I feel safe seeing as he told me the other day that he doesn't read my blog anymore.

I taught my husband the push press. By the time my he was pretty comfortable with it, I was no longer in the mood to workout. I told him to just do what he would normally do. He started but his hamstrings were really sore...and starting to hurt and feel tight...so he wasn't able to finish his planned workout.

A got finished with K and got ready to leave. He told me that he would be training him (K) again on Tuesday if I wanted to workout with him afterwards. I said "Okay." I was surprised again that he was inviting me...surprised but happy. I hope that he really wants to workout with me...that he enjoys it...like I enjoy working out with him. A left and me and my husband and kids "played". We climbed the rope...played on the rings...I even put my oldest daughter on the pull up bar with a band. I didn't think she could do a pull up...even assisted...but once again I was surprised. She banged out 5 chin ups! I was so proud of her. She is stronger than I thought...but she IS a swimmer...so it makes sense. I had fun helping my family do things they had never done in the gym. It made me a little happier.

So, today was NOTHING like I expected...but that's life right?...always full of surprises!

REST DAY...SORTA...(RUN 3.25 MILES-24:34)


.........My little "monkeys"..."MONKEY SEE...MONKEY DO!".........

Day 348 (2ND POST)...a cHaNgE oF pLaNs...

I REALLY DID plan on resting...it's just that...I went to Reata for lunch with my husband and ate REALLY GOOD, REALLY RICH, REALLY FATTENING food. This led to a change of plans. As I sat there before we got up to leave I was thinking..."CRAP! Now there's NO WAY I can rest! I gotta go workout...ASAP!" I know it's crazy..maybe even a sickness of sorts. It was like "exercise bulimia"...I binged on great food...and ALL I could think about was getting rid of it (burning it off...NO THROWING UP FOR ME...JUST a comparison)! J texted to ask when I was gonna come back to workout. We agreed on a time and I headed straight home to change and then straight up to the gym.

J has worn himself down. He works so hard and is always going in about 4 different directions. He's trying to "do it all"...and he IS...but it's taking a toll. He tried to argue with me that he's not tired. I disagreed. Our "relationship" has always been a bit like that. We like each other...but we can also bicker at times. We love to tease each other, and sometimes we disagree (strongly)...but at the end of the day...we share some good laughs and we still like each other. He was sore and had certain exercises that he didn't want to do so I let HIM make up the workout. LAST TIME I do that!!!

J and I were both struggling with the Thrusters from the beginning. My shoulders were killin me! My belly was WAY TOO FULL to be pushin like that!..and I was feeling unmotivated. Still I finish what I start. The sit ups were pretty tough considering I did 100...JUST YESTERDAY!...but I finished...before him...FINALLY. I thought I was Billy Bad A** and I would just grab my ipod and go for a run afterwards...WRONG! I ran about a quarter of a mile and thought..."I can't do this." I turned around and went back, gathered my stuff and left.

I know my thoughts about working out are...well...irrational and over the top at times...but this is who I am. It drives everyone crazy that I ALWAYS worry that I might look FAT. They all say, "How can you look in the mirror and say that?!?" I don't have an answer. I know my thoughts are NOT ordinary...but I'm NO ORDINARY GIRL...that's for sure! Does that make me weird? or special? Maybe I don't wanna know. ;)

DYNAMIC WARM UP
------------------------

WORKOUT
----------------
100 THRUSTERS (1ST 35 WITH 45LB BAR-SWITCHED TO 35LB BAR FOR THE REST)
500 JUMP ROPE SINGLES (NO...NOT A TYPO...500!)
100 RENEGADE ROWS (CAN DO MUCH HEAVIER BUT OPTED FOR LIGHT SINCE I WAS DOING SO MANY-10LB DBs)
100 SIT UPS (ABMAT-ANCHORED)
(23:43)

CARDIO
------------
.5 MILE RUN BEFORE GIVING IN TO MY BODY

Day 348 (1ST POST)...kiCk oFF yOuR HeeLs aNd rEsT A wHiLe...

I went up to help out with a class..a class that never really materialized. It was for some firefighters. Only 4 showed up...at 4 separate times...and only one came to workout. The first guy there was the last guy standing in the end. I thought about working out, but I realized that hours have passed and I'm meeting my hubby for lunch downtown...sooooo...I guess I'll go eat some good food...come home...kick off my heels (I ALWAYS wear heels!)...and enjoy some much needed rest today!

REST DAY

Day 347..."...i'M hOt, sTicKy sWeeT...fRoM mY hEaD tO mY fEEt!...yEaH!"

So as I was lying on the floor this morning making a lovely "sweat angel" on the mat...the title of today's post came to me. Actually, I heard it...blasting on the stereo. I never get sick of cheesy, rock songs from the 80s! I want to turn my back on it...and pretend that I didn't thoroughly enjoy the 80s...bad perm and all...but I can't. I don't listen to my "80s Rock Compilation" CD often...but when I do...I can't help but sing at the top of my lungs and dance. Who can sit still during "Rock You Like A Hurricane" or "Pour Some Sugar On Me"??? I can't...and seeing as I was a sweaty, hot mess lying on the floor...this title seemed quite appropriate!

My little sis and I worked out together...and I nearly KILLED us. I saw a cool WOD on the GSX site, but did I try it??? NOOOO. I decided to change it a bit. I took out rowing and put in running...outside...where it's still HOT. I also added an additional round. I was proud of my sister. The wall balls SUCKED but she stayed with me. We scaled her reps & rounds once we got into it, because it became clear on round 1 that this was gonna be tougher than anticipated. She kicked butt on the running...especially since she doesn't run. She did 3 rounds and I did 4. I decided to do the last one as fast as possible since she was waiting. I did 18 wall balls without breaking rhythm...lame by the standards of some...but great for ME. I knew I was fast because I left to run with "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest blasting and it was STILL goin when I got back. We stretched to "Pour Some Sugar On Me". I'm sure the old lady that works in the back was trying to figure out what the heck was goin on in there...especially since I was singin at the top of my lungs.

We had to eat something when we got back to my house because we were both shaky and nauseous. YEAH BABY! That means it was a good one. Yeah, I know...I'm a sicko. Next time you need a little motivation to workout...I suggest 80s rock tunes. It sure worked for me!

DYNAMIC WARMUP
----------------------

WOD
---------
RUN 400 M
25 WALL BALLS (16 LB DYNAMAX BALL)
25 SIT UPS (VARY EACH ROUND -sprinter, v-ups, reverse crunch, anchored abmat)
4 ROUNDS

Day 346...aLL bY mYseLf...

I've been workin out with A for several weeks. We have fun and have become good friends. We've been working on building "strength"...not "muscles". In fact...I'll use this opportunity to RETRACT my previous statement some weeks ago. A corrected me. Apparently I said that A knows how to build muscles. He said "Not true. I know how to build STRENGTH.". SO there you have it ladies and gentlemen...my official retraction/correction...now I'll get back on track. Saturday A and I had a scheduling "snafu". Monday we hit it hard at the park. Yesterday, he was too busy. Today...well who knows. I'm choosing to be positive and so after not hearing from him...I texted...mopped the gym while waiting...and then decided to just go on and workout...and that's what I did.

I really like working out WITH someone. Some of the funnest training days I had with J were when we would workout together on Saturday...especially the day we went to "the hills". But the fact is...things don't always go according to plan...and we can't always have things as we would like...so that's when you gotta put on your proverbial "big girl panties" and do what you gotta do.

I did yesterday's group class WOD...only I subbed Ring Dips in place of Ring Rows because I did 100 Pull Ups yesterday and didn't especially want to repeat such a similar exercise. I was shocked by the Overhead Squats. I have always been very weak and shaky on those. The RX was the barbell so I used the women's barbell...in hind sight I shoulda grabbed the men's bar. Usually I feel shaky...out of control...and I struggle to keep balance. Today it felt...well...shockingly easy! I realized that the strength training A and I have done has indeed made me STRONGER...which in turn helped me be a better "Crossfitter". Yea us!...uh errr...I mean...Yea me! I am challenged on Ring Dips. At the CF cert at GSX, T showed me how to use the blue band to help me be able to hang and get good ROM while still being able to do Ring Dips. It's amazing how hard it still is...but it definitely helped.

When I got done I came home and bathed...again...and got ready to go to lunch...ALONE. My Mom was not available and my sis, K was workin in Dallas. I sat in a restaurant...not fast food...all ALONE. I tried to call my husband for a little conversation...but AS USUAL...he was too busy to take my call. I left a message...but knew he wouldn't call back. I felt like a loser...I was lonely...and the "sympathetic" stares of the other groups around me only made it worse. I wanted to call W so bad. He ALWAYS makes me happy when I'm sad or worried or lonely. That's why I always turn to him when I feel down, but I knew he would be working...and we haven't talked much since his fiance came back. I shopped a bit afterwards. I realized in the middle of the store that I had not spoken a word...other than placing my lunch order and trying to get someone...ANYONE to talk to me on the phone...since my client left the gym at 10:30. 5 hours is a LONG time to go without any conversation!

I was feeling sad. I went to the restroom in a store and a little old lady came out of the stall next to me. She said, "Oh honey...you look so cute today!" I thanked her. As I walked away she said, "You really are cute!...and you're a SASSY one too!!! Aren't you?!?" I stopped a little surprised..."YES. I AM SASSY." I walked off a little more sure. I decided that I may be alone...I may be sad...I may be disappointed...but I don't have to hang my head. I tried to be as "sassy" as I could... even if I was...all by myself.

DYNAMIC WARM UP
-------------------------

WORKOUT
----------------
21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3
OVERHEAD SQUATS (35 LB BARBELL)
BOX JUMPS (24 IN)
RING DIPS (BAND ASSISTED)
TIME=20:01

CARDIO
------------
30 MIN ELLIPTICAL (HILLS)

Day 345..hOw BoUt a fEw dEad LiFts wiTh yOuR puLL uPs mAAm!?!...

Pull Ups can be my nemesis at times. They NEVER get easier for me, but I REFUSE to quit trying. Today the first part of my workout was 5 Dead Lifts and 10 Pull Ups for 10 rounds. It was good...except for one little problem...it felt like a Pull Up workout with a few Dead Lifts thrown in. I think it shoulda been either 10 and 10 or even better...maybe I shoulda switched the numbers...more Dead Lifts...less Pull Ups.

My hands have gotten pretty darn tough. I can climb the rope with no gloves and I don't get a single blister anymore. It doesn't even really hurt too bad now. My hands used to tear open when I would do a large volume of Pull Ups. That hasn't happened in a while. Today I came close...real close...to ripping my hands open. Even now...they are sore and bothering me. I was able to do the first 40 Pull Ups kipping. After 40, I noticed a small hole in the palm of one hand...and I thought..."OH CRAP! I know what's gonna happen next if I continue kipping for another 60 Pull Ups!"

I don't like tearing up my hands...for obvious reasons...it hurts...but mostly I avoid it because it hampers my workouts for about a week. I decided to swallow my pride and use the small band for the last 60. I still kipped but with the little bit of help from the band...I did not have to hold on quite so tightly or kip quite as hard...and I tried to make up for the "help" of the band by coming up to chest height on the bar rather than chin height.

The Dead Lifts were a piece of cake...that means I probably needed more weight...but I knew lifting that heavy weight in addition to the Pull Ups would shred my hands. Luckily I came out of the gym "in tact"...no blood...or missing skin...just sore hands...but that's okay. A year ago I could not do 1 Pull Up...today...I did A LOT. It hurt...but I DID IT!!!

WARMUP
--------------
ROW 750M
ARM CIRCLES
HIP ROTATIONS

WORKOUT
-----------------
5 DEAD LIFTS (115 LBS)
10 PULL UPS
10 ROUNDS

THEN:
ROW 250 M
25 GHD SIT UPS
ROW 250 M
25 SPRINTER SIT UPS
ROW 250 M
25 ABMAT SIT UPS (FEET TOGETHER-UNANCHORED)
ROW 250 M
25 GHD SIT UPS

STRETCH

DAY 344..."@*^%!"....(add the bad word of your choice...at this point, ANY will work!)...

Today's been hectic with it being the first day of school and all. I was ready to meet my first client at the gym, when I realized that I never gave my 7th grade daughter lunch money. "@*^$!" I called L and told her I would be 5 minutes late. She was cool...after all...she's late all the time too. I got to the school and there was a line in the office. I wanted to scream, "SOMEBODY HELP ME NOW! I GOTTA GO!". I controlled myself. "$@*&"! It was taking forever! Finally...I was on my way.

L was great. She did a hard workout (half "Murph") that took a while...it takes everyone who does it a while. I got done and headed to the park to train with A outside. I was late. "%@#$!" I'm so sick of always being late! I got there...we ran a bit to warm up...he laughed at what a "city girl" I am when I did not recognize the dirt road as a road...looked more like a trail to me! We decided what we would do...and knew it was gonna suck...and it DID! "#*%@!" It was so hard crankin out the push ups! I felt like a freakin WEAKLING. I have GOT to do MORE push ups...MORE often! The tire pull was hell on earth. At first I started to go forward, but it was like a cartoon where the legs go really fast but the character does not move. "*^$#!" It was such a struggle to get that dang thing down to the Kettle Bell that I was then supposed to swing. The worst part was that it was 2 rounds...so I got done with the first round. I was tired...sweating...shaky...knowing I would get to do it all over again. Only this time I KNEW what I was in for. "*%^&!" NO wonder I'm weak...I didn't eat breakfast!

We got done, packed up our "gear". Well, I should say A packed it up...I was layin on the ground trying to remember who the president is and what day it is (isn't that what they ask when you've had head trauma?). Once I "came to"...we made idle chit chat...I gave him some "dating" advice...and we headed home. I was so tired...so weak...all I could think of was food and getting home. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw flashing lights. "*&$%!" I pulled over, but in the shape I was in...I knew there was NO hope of "cutesying" my way out of a speeding ticket...still I tried. It didn't work...AND I couldn't find my insurance card. "*&^%!"

So, now I'm home...full belly...butt draggin...but psychotically enough...I must say.."*%^&! THAT WAS A GOOD WORKOUT!"


WARM UP
-------------
RUN

WORKOUT
----------------
25 DUMB BELL THRUSTERS (15 LB DBs)
50 PUSH UPS (VARYING STYLES...REGULAR...ELEVATED FEET...ELEVATED ARMS)
TIRE DRAG ON GRASS (APPROXIMATELY 200 M?-DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WEIGHT WAS STUFFED IN THERE BUT IT WAS HEAVY)
25 KETTLE BELL SWINGS (35 LB KB)
TIRE PULL BACK (BODY NOW FACING TIRE...WALKING BACKWARD)
2 ROUNDS

Day 343...tRy tRyiNg...

Sometimes...I can be the WORST about saying "can't". I was just saying the other day that the reason I don't do certain things...certain exercises is because I don't like "them". When asked why I don't like "them"...I replied, "Because I don't like anything that I'm not good at." Things seem so much clearer when writing. I mean...HELLO!...How will a person get better at anything or learn new skills without trying...even failing at times???

I'm a perfectionist...but the problem is that I'm not really naturally talented when it comes to working out. Anything that I get good at takes A LOT of practice. Some skills have come easier than others. I can squat. I can deadlift. Those things I can do pretty well...but a handstand...even against a wall...to ME that seems...impossible. Let's just say that the last time I tried...it was LESS than successful. J was helping me because I couldn't even get into a handstand position on the wall by myself. I kicked him in the face. He was mad. I haven't tried since. It's not HIS fault. It's because I know that it won't come easy. The poster above reminds me that I need to keep trying. The video below reminds me that possibilities are endless.

Sooooo...here's to a week of TRYING...of DOING...of POSSIBILTIES.
--------------------------REST DAY (much needed!)------------------------

Day 342...stOp tHe miSeRy wAgOn! i wAnT oFF!...

Do you ever feel that way?...sick of your life? Some days are just like that...you wake up...you want to have a good day...but stuff happens and it sets the tone for the rest of your day. Next thing you know...you're taking a ride on what I like to call "the misery wagon"...and you're hatin life.

I got up this morning and a series of events happened that...well for the lack of a more intelligent word...sucked. I like to workout with other people. I'm very motivated when I do, because I want to beat whoever it is that I'm with. I was excited to go to the park and do stuff I like...flipping tires...draggin heavy stuff around. Plus, A was training K and I like him. He's fun to workout with. I started driving to the park...the park VERY far away...and before I knew it...I was lost. I couldn't remember the directions and I called A like a million times and he never answered. I was about ready to rip my hair out, so after using lots of gas and all my patience...I gave up and headed back the way I came...disappointed and frustrated and on the verge of tears.I went up to the gym...unlocked the door...and got ready to workout...ALONE. I did the WOD that J had his classes do yesterday. It was hard. I wished I had someone there to watch my form on the push jerks. I wondered if I was staying "in line". I was so tired when I was through. I hoped those lifts would get me out of my funk...but it was no use...I stayed right where I was...on the misery wagon. I went to the park...4 and a half miles should work it out...no dice! After a ridiculous amount of phone tag...A got me on the phone.

He wasn't any happier than I was. Crap!..still on the misery wagon...except now I'm not alone. He said I didn't confirm that I was coming to the park. I explained that I thought asking for directions yesterday was a pretty good confirmation. He didn't agree. I wasn't really mad at him...I was really frustrated with the sequence of events...and it wasn't getting any better. I went to Chick Fil A...to eat bad...more misery. I traded my kids meal toy for an ice cream cone...I said I was eating bad!...and the cute blonde gave me the tiniest, most pitiful cone you have EVER seen. The top wasn't even covered with ice cream. It seriously looked like a joke...it wasn't. I wanted to make a smart comment like..."Hey! Have a little ice cream with your cone!". I started to add it to my collection of crappy events, but I made a decision. The fact is...NO ONE put me on the misery wagon. I let things get to me and I stepped on...and stayed on by choice. I decided that being miserable wasn't going to help my day...and I realized that no one was going to rescue me from my misery or take my hand and help me out...so I stopped the misery wagon and I got off. It felt good. The workout was done...I was no longer lost...and that pitiful excuse of an ice cream cone meant less guilt over eating it later. I feel relieved now. I'm so glad to be off the wagon.

WARMUP
--------------
JUMPING JACKS
DYNAMIC STRETCHING

WORKOUT
-----------------
10 HANG POWER CLEANS (65 LBS)
10 FRONT SQUATS (65 LBS)
10 PUSH JERKS (65 LBS)
5 ROUNDS (28:07)

CARDIO
-----------
4.5 MILE WALK/RUN

Days 340...341...sToP cOuNtiNg...kEEp gOiN...

~CrossFit Level 1 Certification at GSX Athletics last weekend~
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAY 340...THURSDAY...
I wasn't feelin quite right when I woke up. I got to the gym feelin a little nauseous and my head was cloudy. Luckily, once I got into bench pressing...it started to go away. I had a revelation of sorts in the process. I looked at my numbers from last week. I did 18 Bench Presses the first round. I thought to myself...as I was lying on the bench...grabbing the bar..."If I can get 19...I'll be happy." I got to 19 and started to rack it...thinking I was "done". A said from behind me, "You got more than that in you!" I did 22 and got up. "Why do I stop like that?!? Why do I think I'm done...when clearly I am not?!?" I said. Before A could answer, the lightbulb lit up above my head. It's because I count. I determine a number and when I reach it...I'm done. It's good to have a goal, but not if you stop there. It ended up bein a pretty good workout...not my best performance...but I can't complain.

I met J back up at the gym that evening to try out the heinous workout that I put the 6AM class and my client, L through the day before. I thought it would be well used as my "cardio". WOW! It sucked from round 1. MAX Reps in 20 minutes workouts always do for me...but this one was really tough! JJ from the morning class did 8 and J, my friend...boss (ha!)...ex trainer...did 9. What do ya know?!? I did 9 and stopped with 1 min and 1 sec on the stopwatch. Crap! I did it again with the whole number thing! I realized that I can't box myself in like that anymore. That workout was the funnest suckfest EVER!

WORKOUT (A.M.)
----------------
MAX REPS BENCH PRESS (65LBS) 3 SETS
22+17+20= 59 TOTAL

THEN:
12 CHIN UPS (STRICT-NO KIP-USED BLUE BAND)
18 "PULL APARTS" (BLACK RESISTANCE BAND)
3 SETS

THEN:
8 SHOULDER PRESS (45 LBS
3 SETS

WORKOUT/CARDIO (P.M.)
--------------------------
1O KETTLE BELL SWINGS (35 LBS)
5 BURPEES
10 SUMO DEAD LIFT HIGH PULLS (55LBS)
MAX ROUNDS IN 20 MIN = 9 ROUNDS (18:59)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DAY 341...FRIDAY (today)...
I covered the 6AM group class for J. It was a tough workout...heavy...mentally challenging. Some of the Olympic lifts and barbell work that we do in CrossFit can be extremely challenging...to learn...and to teach. Needless to say, I hoped I would be "good enough". The 6AM class went well. I felt bad because one person struggled. She was doing it, but she became frustrated...discouraged...and she quit after the first of 5 rounds. She really was doing just fine. I felt bad that I could not convince her to keep going...for HER sake. I hoped it was an internal issue for her and not something that I was doing wrong. JJ did really well. He is always willing to "suffer" so he always does well...no matter what the workout is.

I trained my lil sis, K, afterwards. She was awesome! She fought for every round of her workout. After, I worked out with A. It was legs...and abs. I felt more confident on the leg part...I'm not where I want to be...but I'm getting closer. Oh...have I mentioned that I HATE doing ab work?!? Oh yeah...I HAVE...several times. My abs were burning for 10 minutes after I left, but overall...it went well.

So...on a random but exciting note...I had a little time to kill before I had to be back at the gym, so I decided to check out the GSX CF blog. I was looking at it...enjoying all the pictures and scrolling down...and then...BAM!...there I am!...in a picture (above) from last weekend's certification...and the caption underneath says..."Here a Level 1 participant (ME!) demonstrates perfect KB Swing technique...". I am so NOT one to brag...but that was great to see. I have been so down on myself and my abilities for a while now. It's lame and so girly...but the reassurance was such a boost to my confidence.

It was time to go back to work...I was nervous about going back up for another group class. I want people to learn from me...not so I can feel important...so I can feel like I'm doing some good through my job. I want other people to get the satisfaction out of working out that I do. It can be life changing. The 5:30 PM class consists of 2 men. They are always gracious. They were willing and hungry to learn and improve. It was fun to help them and feel...competent. They asked...and listened...and did what I said...and learned. It was very satisfying. I felt good...like I CAN do this...well.

Now I'm so sleepy...yes I know...a common theme these days. That's what happens when you go to bed at midnight and get up at 4:30 AM. I'm bummed that I didn't get to do today's WOD or any cardio for that matter. Today is done...but tomorrow is a new day. I'm gonna turn in for the night and get some much needed rest!

WORKOUT
---------------
BACK SQUAT (WORK UP TO 3 REP MAX)
45 LBS X 10
65 LBS X 5
75 LBS X 3
95 LBS X 3
105 LBS X 3
115 LBS X 3
125 LBS- FAIL
(I should've only gone up to 120lbs the last time...I knew that. 10lbs was too big of a jump for me at that point. I think I would've made it.)
115 LBS=3 REP MAX

THEN:
STEP UPS WITH 65 LB BARBELL ON BACK (18 IN BOX)
10 EA LEG-3 SETS

THEN:
15 SWISS BALL HAMSTRING CURL
3 SETS

THEN:
ABS
10 SPRINTER SIT UPS
10 V-UPS
10 TOE TOUCHES
10 REVERSE CRUNCHES
4 SETS

Day 339...rUnniNg fRoM mY fEaRs...

I just got back from a run. I wasn't running anywhere in particular and it was really much too late to even be going out for a run. But...I was miserable...I HAD to go. I wasn't running towards anything. I was running away...away from the fear...the fear of being fat. I was fat once and now I'm not. I worked really hard to change my "outsides". The problem is that my insides didn't make as big of a transformation as my outsides did. My eyes still see fat. My heart is always afraid. I know it's irrational...my sister teases me that I have "body dysmorphia"...but I can't help the way I feel when I look in the mirror sometimes. I just feel thick today. Please know that I am NOT looking for compliments or reassurance. I'm just stating how I felt when I left to run. Maybe I'll see something different when I look in the mirror tomorrow. I hope.

DYNAMIC WARMUP
-----------------------

WORKOUT
-------------
3 REACTIVE BOX JUMPS
18 IN BOX TO FLOOR TO 28 IN BOX
3 SETS

THEN:
5 POWER CLEANS (3 SETS - WORKED UP TO 85 LBS)
45 LBS X 10
65 LBS X 5
75 LBS X 5
85 LBS X 5
85 LBS X 5
85 LBS X 5

THEN:
10 REVERSE LUNGES WITH 65 LB BARBELL (EA LEG - OFF 6 INCH "BOX")
2 SETS

THEN:
10 SINGLE LEG ROMANIAN DEAD LIFTS (65 LBS)
3 SETS

THEN:
15 SIDE BENDS (55 LBS)
4 SETS

CARDIO
------------
30 MIN RUN

Day 338...i wiSh i wAs wOndeR wOmAn!...

After working out Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday (practicing movements off and on throughout the day AND doing an intense workout each day at the CF cert), and also working out twice yesterday (Mon)...I'm not feelin it today. I thought I could mentally push through...I wish I could...but I feel complete fatigue. I'm in slow motion...every movement feels like a chore. I know this is my body demanding that I rest. I wish I was Wonder Woman...that I could keep going and never need rest...but I'm not. I'm a mere mortal...giving in to the demands of my body...reluctantly.

Geez! I would SO KILL for arms and legs like hers in that picture!!!
..................................REST DAY..................................

Day 337...cUtE pAnTs aNd GirLy wEiGhTs...

I remember saying just last week how I was hoping to be sore... Well, there's an old saying that says, "Be careful what you wish for."...and right now...I'm regretting that wish. I am sore...ALL OVER...and it's not so much fun. I was wondering how I could workout today...actually I should say workout SUCCESSFULLY. Still...I wanted to workout so I put on some really cute workout pants to mask any "sad effort" I may have and headed to the gym.

I trained my sis and another lady and then it was time to workout with A. I wasn't very strong today. I felt so girly! I did pretty well...and I'm not upset with my effort...it just felt like I was just trying to be cute and lift some little weights in the process. It's a bit of a dramatic illustration, but hey...I've have been told lately that I am a dramatic girl. Our workout went well and I headed to lunch with my Mom to eat at my favorite Mexican restaraunt.

I got home and fell asleep on my bed. When I woke up, I realized that I still needed to do cardio. I mean C'MON! I ALWAYS have to do my cardio! I decided to go and try and break in on the 5:30 CrossFit group class up at the gym. I got there just in time and the guys...and a girl... were nice enough to let me crash their workout. Crap! I was just spent from the get go, but I couldn't stop or get beaten on time...so I just did my best. I wasn't very fast and the Hang Squat Cleans were a struggle because my body and my muscles are so sore. I finished first, but my time was about 2 minutes slower than it should've been. Oh well...I was just there to workout...not to break any records. Now, I'm sleepy...worn out...done...but happy too.

WARMUP
-------------

"STRENGTH" WORKOUT (A.M.)
---------------------------------------
FLOOR PRESS (STRONGMAN STYLE)
35X15, 45X10, 55X8, 65X5, 75X5, 85X1, 95X1, 100X1, 105(FAIL) 1 REP MAX=100LBS

THEN:
RING PUSH UPS (MAX REPS)
1=7
2=12
(sad effort but I did lots of push ups yesterday and I'm REALLY sore so I can't complain...I guess...)

THEN:
8 BARBELL BENT ROWS (80LBS)
20 FACE PULLS WITH BLUE BAND
4 SUPERSETS

THEN:
10 SHOULDER RAISES (FRONT, LATERAL, BACK-10 EA)
3 SETS

CARDIO (2ND WORKOUT P.M.)
------------------------------------
50 LUNGES
40 ABMAT SIT UPS
RUN 400 M
30 MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS
20 HANG SQUAT CLEAN (65 LB BARBELL)
RUN 400 M
2 ROUNDS (22:45)

Day 336...nO rEsT tOdAy...

Sunday is ALWAYS my designated rest day...but NOT today! Today was the last day of the CrossFit Level 1 Cert I attended. I have to say that I had a GREAT time! It renewed my love for CrossFit as well as my hunger for more strength. I got up this morning thinking..."Wow! I'm not at all sore.". I have to admit that I was really nervous about today's workout before lunch break. I was just sure that they would make us do "Fight Gone Bad". I didn't want to look like a weeny in front of bad a**es like Dutch and Jolie and Dave. So when we got outside and they told us what the workout was...I was relieved...it didn't seem so bad. WRONG! It was a royal butt kicker! The pushups were the hardest for me...which tells me that I REALLY need to do more pushups. Dutch, Mary, and Dave were "checkin" on me..."encouraging" me...and "coaching" me off and on. No pressure!!! In all seriousness...the "pressure" to perform and the "help" was just what I needed. In just 12 minutes of working out...I was so tired...so hot...so wishing I had gone a little faster and not taken any breaks...but it was really hard.

I learned during "rotations" that I have GOT to do more ring work. I am seriously lacking. I should be able to do ring dips. I can't. It sucks to have your "Achilles Heel" (anything rings or gymnastics) exposed for all to see...but it just motivates me all that more to start vigilantly working on these weaknesses. Jeff Tucker of GSX was very nice to show me how to use the bands to assist me in doing ring dips. I did learn something that I have never done... dumb bell snatches. I did well, but they WORE ME OUT!

Now...I'm feelin it. My body is sore. My mind is mush. All I want to do is sleep. This weekend has been a blur, but it has also been great! I can't believe that I am officially a certified CrossFit trainer! Life is good.



WORKOUT
---------------
30 MINUTES OF PUSH JERK AND MED BALL CLEAN PRACTICE

THEN:
400 M RUN
15 KB SWINGS (26LB)
15 PUSH UPS
MAX ROUNDS IN 12 MINUTES (I GOT 4 AND A RUN AND ALL SWINGS...DIDN'T GET PUSH UPS SO DIDN'T GET TO COUNT ALL THAT WORK)

THEN:
-20 MINUTES OF DUMB BELL SNATCHES (12 LB DB-AMAZING HOW HEAVY THAT CAN FEEL AFTER 20 MIN)
-PRACTICE KIPPING
-PRACTICE BACK/HIP EXTENSIONS ON GHD
-PRACTICE TUCK SITS
-WORK ON MUSCLE UPS/DIPS

Day 336...i rOcKeD iT, bAbY!!!...

Today I went to the first day of the CrossFit Level 1 Certification at GSX Athletics in Fort Worth. As usual...I worried that I wouldn't be cute enough or strong enough or that I would somehow know less that EVERYONE else there. Surprisingly...in spite of those worries...I felt pretty calm on the drive over this morning.

I had NOTHING to worry about! Anyone who knows me well, knows I don't usually brag. I'm always hard on myself. Nothing I do is ever enough..for ME. However, I have to say that today...I ROCKED IT!!! When we were down in the gym going over the movements we talked about in the lectures...I heard, "Good M!" "Beautiful, M!" "That's what I like to see, M!" ...and that wasn't by one person...that was people that I respect their abilities...people like Jolie...Dutch...Dave. I WAS corrected on was using hook grip. I've never been taught the hook grip or used the hook grip...Dutch obliged. OMG! He is so cute in person! If only I was 10 yrs younger...single...about 4 inches shorter...Okay sorry! I am happily married!...I'm just sayin...okay never mind! Also to the boys at the gym that tease me about my "crazy" kip...I was told that I "have a beautiful kip" today! HA!

The coolest thing that happened was that we did a CrossFit benchmark workout called "Fran". I tried once to do it at the prescribed weight...65 lbs...but I failed. It's not that I couldn't do A SINGLE 65 lb Thruster...it was that I couldn't do 45 of them! So I started with a 45 lb bar and after a few...Dave Castro came over and said, "That's too easy for you...move to a 65 lb bar." I was FREAKING OUT!!! I did it though. He talked me through and I have to say it was easier than I thought. In fact I wasn't layin in the floor. I know I can beat my time! I did it in 8:24. That's slow by elite levels, but for me...with the prescribed weight...I am elated! When I was leaving, Dave told me I did a good job and gave me a high five! And it wasn't like a pitiful, fat girl, weak, I feel sorry for you high five. It was a good one...one that says I CAN DO THIS!

WOW! It felt great to leave feeling proud. Lately, I've felt discouraged...weak...like I can't do anything right. Today I learned that I'm not so bad. I needed that boost! I can't wait for tomorrow!!!

WORKOUT @ CERT
----------------------
"FRAN"
21, 15, 9
65 lb THRUSTER
PULL UPS (KIPPING)

TIME=8:24

Day 335...rAiNy dAys aNd sCrEw uPs aLwAys mAkE mE cRy...

I opened my eyes…darkness…then flashes of lightning…the rumble of the thunder. I looked at the clock…perfect timing…5:43 AM...exactly 2 minutes before my alarm was supossed to off. I got ready to go train my sister, but I really wasn’t “feelin it”. I have a lot on my mind…it’s the end of the week…and I always worry…worry that I won’t do a good job as a trainer…worry that “the boys” will critique me or laugh at me. Usually my worries are unfounded. Today…it was more of a foreboding.

So far it’s been the kind of day where it seems I can’t do anything right. No pity party…just the truth. I didn’t train “right”, and I haven’t been taught right either. The shoes I wore yesterday are the shoes I shoulda worn today! I made a mistake and didn’t schedule my nanny correctly so there were issues getting my kids to camp! Ugh! Can I just get it together?!? Needless to say…my stress level was high and my happiness was low. I went to the bathroom...I tried to compose myself so as not to come off like a sensitive bee-yotch...no luck...I couldn't hold my tears. So...I quickly gave myself an imaginary slap across the face...dried my tears...fanned my face to try & look normal again (I'm the ugliest cryer EVER!)...and went back out to face the"world" again...stronger...sorta.

It was a nice change of pace to stop thinking and just workout myself with A. He was really nice to me and “coached” me in a very respectful way. I needed that. I appreciated that. I’ve been struggling with back squats for a while. Once I was strong…I did well…then for a long time…I did not do back squats…my form and strength has suffered, but I’ll get it back...eventually. OMG! The AB section of our workout was horrendous. I HATE “V-UPS”…and they hate me too. I fumbled through til we were done and then came home to do cardio. I know it’s not the greatest for him…but I’m so glad to workout with A. He made me feel better.

I feel sleepy and drained. I’m gonna try to take it easy today and hang with my sweet 9yr old girl “Squid” since my other 2 kiddos are at camp all day. I need to clear my head and rest before I go to the CrossFit Level 1 certification tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it with nervous anticipation.

DYNAMIC WARM UP
------------------------

WORKOUT
-------------
BACK SQUAT (5 REP MAX)
45 X 10
55 X 8
65 X 5
75 X 5
85 X 5
95 X 5
100 X 5
5 REP MAX = 100 LBS

DROP SET- 75 LBS (DID 7 AND THEN MY LEGS WOULDN’T COOPERATE –SHOULD HAVE DOEN 65 LBS)

THEN:
6 STEP UPS (EACH LEG - 20 IN BOX – 65 LB BARBELL ON BACK)
3 SETS

THEN:
15 SWISS BALL BRIDGE WITH LEG CURL
4 SETS

THEN:
AB CIRCUIT
10 SPRINTER SIT UPS
10 “V-UPS”
10 TOE TOUCHES
10 REVERSE CRUNCH ON FLOOR
2 SETS

CARDIO
----------
30 MIN ELLIPTICAL

Day 334..bRiNg iT, bOyS!!!...

I've ALWAYS been friends with "boys". I consider it both an honor and a bit of an insult. I can see A's face now...WHAT?!?...AN INSULT!?! Lemme explain...before anyone blows a gasket. I always give bad news first...

SOOO...as for the insult part...In the movie "When Harry Met Sally" (an all time favorite of mine...probably because I relate so well to Sally...ugh), Harry says that men cannot be friends with women they find attractive. Hmmm...I think there is a little truth to that...so what does that mean for me. Well, I think that it means that I DO in fact have guys I consider friends...W...A...J...but they don't see me "that way". I'm like the comfortable old jeans...the ones with holes...the ones you don't really want other people to see you wearing...the ones that you know you need to get rid of but it just feels so good when you put them on. I've ALWAYS been "just a friend"...that REALLY SUCKED when I was young and single...now it is as it should be. Don't get me wrong...I'm not trying to attract anyone...NOR do I wish to have my friends find me attractive...but every girl wants to feel pretty. Regardless..I put that away when I'm with "my boys"...so it's okay.

As for the part about it being an honor...well IT IS! My guy friends keep me on my toes...they MAKE me do things that I would not normally do...things that are good for me...things that help me grow. They are honest with me...sometimes BRUTALLY honest. I feel like I can trust what they tell me. My friends are all strong. I love to workout alongside them. It drives me CRAZY because I can't keep up...but I still love it. They call me out when I'm being too dramatic or sensitive. I don't always like it, but it's still good to have people to keep you in check.

I'm lucky to get to work with a couple of my friends. They make me laugh and sometimes they drive me crazy...especially when they get together and tease me. I have a perfect example. Today, A and I were working out. It was going well. We were working hard but doing well. I felt good today. I came into the gym in a bit of a funk...sad/mad about previous circumstances...but I was fine once I got there and today was the first "Strength Training Day"...that I have felt remotely strong. I'm not really strong, but I felt good...in control...able. It was probably because I FINALLY got 7 hours of sleep last night. I was feeling a little silly because A recommended that I get some Converse "Chucks" to wear when lifting instead of wearing my cushy gym shoes with jacked up heels. I got some...I like em but I felt conspicuous. A told me I looked strong...AWWWWW...probably a lie...but I appreciated it...wait! I said they tell me the truth...anyway that's what I LIKE to hear. J came in near the end of our workout and said, "You get new shoes?"...and chuckled (pardon the pun) at me. I laughed and whined that I was feeling weird and didn't want to be teased about it. Then at one point A told me to put away the 45 lb bumpers he had been using. I, being the WONDERFUL friend that I am, went over to take them off the bar...and then...I caught a glimpse of him looking at J and laughing. I said, "Stop laughing...I'm not your (bleep)! Do it yourself if your gonna laugh!" He made a pouty mouth...I put em away. I'm a freakin pushover! As I walked away, J said from underneath the rack he was using to bench press, "I'll be done in a minute...then you can put mine away too!". They both laughed and gave an imaginary high five to each other. I couldn't help but laugh too...it was kinda funny. Whatever. I know that they would SO miss me if I was not around!...at least they better!

A and I got done and left J to finish his workout. Geez! They love to give me a hard time! I told A that. He reminded me that they ARE in fact guys...and this is what they do. I snapped back. Oh yeah...I guess I'm expecting them to do things they way I would...but...I'm a GIRL! If they did act that way, I would be repulsed and think it was gay. So even though they tease me and give me a hard time...even though I wish at times that they would remember that I am a "lady"...I like being friends with them...and I hope they consider me a friend as well. BRING IT, boys! I can take it!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*WHAT THE?!? I JUST NOTICED AS I TYPED WHAT WE DID TODAY FROM MY JOURNAL THAT WE SKIPPED THE SHOULDER PRESSES WE WERE SUPPOSED TO DO!!! DANG IT!*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARMUP

WORKOUT (UPPER BODY)
--------------------------------
BENCH PRESS (65 LBS) - 3 SETS/MAX REPS EA TIME
21+15+16=52 TOTAL (THAT'S 6 MORE THAN LAST WEEK!)

THEN:
10 CHIN UPS
(NO KIPPING ALLOWED TODAY...STRICT...SO I USED THE SMALLEST BAND-THE BLUE ONE)
15 BAND PULLS (BLACK RESISTANCE BAND)
----------------------
3 SETS

THEN:
20 OVERHEAD TRICEP EXT (25 LB DUMB BELL)
15 CONCENTRATION CURLS (15 LB DB-SEATED)
----------------------------------------
2 SETS






...I JUST REALIZED THAT I NEVER DID CARDIO...CRAP!
I FEEL FAT!!!...

Day 333...a REAL rEsT dAy...

A says I should rest...so did W...and J. I never do. Even on "rest days", I tend to do cardio. It's rare for me to take a REAL rest day...but today I am...resting...for real. I'm so tired. I put on jeans and a tee before going to the gym at 6AM, because I knew that if I wore workout clothes...I'd never make it. I "play" while I'm in between clients. I never think of it as working out...but some days...it goes on for a long time...and it can be quite a workout in the end. Today one of my clients cancelled so I had extra time. I wanted to do stuff..but I didn't...all I did was mop the floor and then I had to leave so I could distract myself.






REST DAY

Day 332..."ScReW yOu!"...

"DOUBT WHOM YOU WILL, BUT NEVER YOURSELF." ~Christian Nestell Bovee

Today at the gym, I said that I would call today's post "Screw You!". Reason being...I said it...more than a couple of times...to my workout buddy. I wasn't serious...we were just givin each other a hard time. I'm a woman of my word so here it is!

Something interesting happened. I thought this post would be so titled for obvious reasons...but in the end...this title isn't about anyone else. It's about...ME...about the way I treat MYSELF...about the voices in my head that break me and tear me down. I leave no room for error or growth. I expect perfection...everyday...all the time. This may be hard for people to believe because outwardly I am FAR from perfect. The end result may not be evident...but the desire remains...perfection. I wanna lift more...heavier. I wanna jump higher...further. I wanna know...everything.

I came so close to losing it while I was doing weighted reverse lunges off a step. The tears were right there. I kept them from falling, but they clouded my vision. I wanted to lunge back...and spring back up on that step...powerfully...like A does. I struggled, but in the end I did it...I finished. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear the encouragement and praise I was getting from A because the voice in my head was too loud. It drowned out all other noise. This is what I heard..."I'm weak!" "I suck!" "I should give up." "I'll NEVER improve." etc etc etc. I even wrote the words "i suck!" beside my weight on my training log. I got over it...kinda...and we finished...and went our separate ways...him to eat healthy...and me...I won't say...but it wasn't the definition of healthy eating.

A texted to remind me to "take it easy" on myself ...to tell me that I did well. I hate to admit it...but I in fact WAS beating myself up...and I DID appreciate his advice. He said "no self pity"...he even gave me one of the best compliments you can give me. If you call me a bad a**...I'll love you forever! So, as I thought about today on my drive home from the store...I realized that the one I need to say "Screw You!" to...is the voice that tells me I'll never be good enough. When the doubts start to creep into my head...and the internal insults begin...I need to say it...and mean it. "SCREW YOU!" I won't be successful until I do.

WARMUP
--------------
DYNAMIC WARMUP

WORKOUT
-----------------
BROAD JUMP 6.25 FEET- 7X
jump 3 times and find the average length...mine was 6.25 ft...then jump as far as my average as many times as possible until I can no longer reach the mark. I jumped 7 times successfully and failed on my 8th try.

then:
REVERSE LUNGE OFF 6 INCH STEP HOLDING 70 LB BARBELL - 10 REPS/4 SETS

then:
10 KETTLE BELL SWINGS (1.5 POOD = 53 LBS)
3 SETS

then:
15 "SPREAD EAGLE" SIT UPS HOLDING A 20 LB DUMB BELL OVER HEAD
4 SETS

Day 331...i sHouLdA hAd mY woRkoUt jOurNaL...

I got to work this morning...nervous...I've never turned the alarm off and I was not exactly sure where the keypad is. I mean I knew it would be to my right...but I've never actually laid eyes on it. I know it's silly. I just get so nervous when I have never done something. I mean of course I've turned an alarm off. I just haven't turned THAT alarm off. I pulled around back and left my headlights on so that I could see in the dark. I got in just fine and took care of the 6AM class for J because he had to work. Next I trained my "peeps" and then got ready to workout with A.

A and I were back at it today. It was nice...I was not so sleepy and lethargic like last week. I don't know why...I went to bed at 12:30AM and woke up at 4:30AM. I felt better than last week, but was disappointed to see upon looking up last week that I did NOT get stronger on my bench press. I think I jumped up too fast on weight. I NEEDED my workout journal. I wanted to look back at last week so I could gage where I needed to "go". I didn't realize how important having that info would be. NOW...I do. Maybe I could've done more if I had seen what I did before...I felt like I was feeling my way in the dark. I did improve on ring push ups...not by much...but still I'm moving in the right direction. EXCEPT...I stopped...gave up on the 2 set...I was shaky, struggling...but I KNOW in hindsight that I had at least 1 more in me. A said, I cheated myself. I really did...and I wrote that down on a piece of paper next to my numbers. I'll remember that next Monday.

I enjoyed today. A gave me some good tips/advice that really helped me. We had a good time...well I'll speak for myself...I had a good time. I know I can be "difficult" and chatty and silly...still he was patient. I appreciated his encouragement. I'm really tired, but I had a good day and I learned new things.

DYNAMIC WARM UP

WORKOUT
-------------------
FLOOR PRESS 3 REP MAX
45 X 10
65 X 10
75 X 3
85 X 3
95 X 3
100 (FAIL)

MAX REPS RING PUSH UPS FOR 2 ROUNDS (FEET ELEVATED)
1st = 12
2nd = 10

BENT BARBELL ROWS 95 LBS - 8 REPS
FACE PULLS WITH THE BAND - 20 REPS - (blue band)
3 ROUNDS

SHOULDERS-
10 FRONT RAISE (8 LB DBs)
10 LATERAL RAISE
10 BACK RAISE
3 ROUNDS

CARDIO
-------------
5 MIN AIRDYNE
20 MIN ROW (earlier in AM) 4291 M-245 CALORIES
3 ROPE ASCENTS

Day 330...DeFiNiTiOn...

"I BELIEVE THAT THE DEFINITION OF DEFINITION IS REINVENTION. TO NOT BE LIKE YOUR PARENTS. TO NOT BE LIKE YOUR FRIENDS. TO BE YOURSELF. COMPLETELY." ~Henry Rollins

Most of us that workout have talked about muscle definition at one time or another. That's what I'm always looking for...more definition. One thing that many average gym goers don't understand is that while it is important to lift weights...much of the muscle "definition" that people are looking for comes from being lean. You can work the muscles but if they are covered up with fat...you will never see good muscular definition.

I started thinking that defining who we are on the inside is much the same. Just as we have to take the steps necessary to see good muscular definition...working hard in the gym and losing fat...we need to have the courage to take the steps necessary to define who we can be on the inside as well. We have to be willing to be different...to struggle...to get rid of the extra fluff that conceals who we really are...who we want to be.

Decide...Do...Define.

SUNDAY=REST DAY

Day 329...i wAnT iT aLL, dANg iT!!!...

I want WHAT I want...WHEN I want it! A lot of time in life...we have to give up one thing to get another...but I don't wanna. I want to eat and not be fat! I want to spend and still have money! I want to work and not be tired! I want to succeed and never fail!

It seems that when I have been the strongest...when I can move the most weight...my endurance has suffered...and when I am an endurance "monster"...my muscles are not as strong. I'm trying to have both. I've been doing long "metabolic conditioning" type workouts for a while. I can "last" a LONG time. I can take a real beating at the gym and keep going, but when I try to bench press...I feel like I'm weak. So, I'm lifting more weight more often, while trying to throw in a CrossFit "met con" workout a couple of times a week.

This morning I went up to CF with my husband. J had to come up and let us in because the alarm was on. I thought he might stay and workout, but as soon as my hubby and I left for a warmup run...he left...no good bye...just gone. We were doing different workouts...my husband and I. After I showed him around the gym and played around a bit...I decided to get serious and workout. Squats are no problem for me...but the kettle bell swings were KILLIN me...and the pull ups felt IMPOSSIBLE! I felt like a beginner...my kipping was off...my hands were burning...I kept losing my rhythm. Dang it! I was so disappointed. I mean I was doing a LARGE quantity, but that's not an excuse that I allow myself to use...ever. So after the first round...I used the small band for my pull ups and did each set unbroken. It was like a knife in my heart...using a BAND...but I used it anyway...I needed to be able to keep going. I finished...but even after doing 260 SQUATS...13O KETTLE BELL SWINGS...and 65 PULL UPS...I felt like it wasn't enough.

See! That's the problem with wanting it all! It's impossible...and instead of having "it" (whatever IT is)...I end up just wanting. So screw it! So what if some people think I'm weak...so what if I struggled with pull ups today...so what if I write too much or say the wrong thing...so what! I did A LOT of work today...and maybe things didn't turn out quite like I wanted, but I am going to force myself to believe that I DID do a GOOD job!

WARMUP
--------------
1 MILE RUN
DYNAMIC STRETCHING

WORKOUT
------------------
AIR SQUATS 80, 64, 48, 32, 24, 12
KETTLE BELL SWINGS (35 LBs) 40, 32, 24, 16, 12, 6
PULL UPS (1ST SET KIPPING-REST ON SMALL BAND) 20, 16, 12, 8, 6, 3

CARDIO
------------
1.5 MILE RUN

Day 328...mOviN dOwN lOweR...

"A GREAT BUTT IS THE BENCHMARK OF A GREAT BODY. IF SOMEONE HAS A TIGHT, TONED TUSH, YOU KNOW SHE'S LITERALLY WORKED HER BUTT OFF TO GET IT." ~Chris Cander, "Define Those Curves" - Oxygen magazine

Today, I was armed with a workout that my workout buddy gave me...I teasingly call him my "Ninja Master"...ha! ha! So, it's interesting how no matter who you are...no matter how psycho you are in the gym...GENERALLY speaking...most of us don't always push ourselves to the limits that another can push us...at least that's how I am. That's why workout buddies are so great and why personal trainers have a place in this world. When I worked with personal trainers in the past (before I BECAME one)...their ability to push and encourage me was much more important TO ME than their knowledge of muscle anatomy.

Yesterday was upper body and today we moved on down to the lower body. There are exercises that I avoid because of my knees and my irrational fear of injury. I've been successful (if you can call it that) at "Crossfitting" because FOR ME...the pain and the mental part...the wondering if you really can finish in one piece...is easy. OKay, so it's not EASY, but it comes much more naturally to me than lifting a heavy weight...resting...and repeating. Split squats...I haven't done a split squat in over a year. They hurt! They scare me because I'm not known for my athletic prowess or grace...in other words...I'm clumsy and it takes great balance to stand on one foot and squat...with the other foot propped up on a bench behind you...bar on your back. I wanted to skip it...but I can't turn down a challenge. It sucked! I can only imagine how heinous my form probably looked and even though he gave me a hard time yesterday...a REALLY hard time...on many subjects...I found myself missing the "Ninja Master" today. I needed SOMEBODY to tell me what I tell my "girls" that I train..."Good"..."You got it!"..."Don't stop...one more...push...fight".

Even though I was alone...I did it!...every bit of it! I could've lied about reps or skipped what I didn't like...but I didn't. My knee and back were really feelin it on the drive home. I had 2 ice packs...one on my right knee and one on my lower back. And my butt...let's just say...I won't be forgetting that I have one for a few days! I better grow a HOT badonkadonk after all this pain! I came home so tired from getting up at 4:30 AM to cover J's 6AM class. I laid on my bed with my little boy and fell asleep under the blanket that my big sis crocheted me. 2 hours later...I'm a new woman!

I'm lookin forward to doing a good, long Crossfit "Met Con" workout tomorrow!

WARMUP
---------------
DYNAMIC WARMUP (JJs, SJs, HIP ROTATIONS, HIGH KNEES, SIDE STEP WITH RESISTANCE BAND BACK & FORTH GYM, "BIRD DOGS", "GROINERS")

WORKOUT
---------------------
DEADLIFT 5 REP MAX
95-105-115-135-145

THEN:
10 BULGARIAN SPLIT SQUATS WITH 45 LB BARBELL ON BACK
3 SETS

THEN:
12 BACK EXTENSIONS (ON GHD HOLDING 10 LB BUMPER)
4 SETS

THEN:
AB CIRCUIT
10 SPRINTER SIT UPS
10 V-UPS
10 TOE TOUCHES
10 REVERSE CRUNCHES ON FLOOR
4 SETS

CARDIO
-----------
30 MIN ELLIPTICAL HILLS

“STRONG GLUTES ARE IMPERATIVE FOR OVERALL BALANCE, STRENGTH, AND EXPLOSIVE POWER.” ~Jenny Lynn, 2004 Arnold Classic International Figure Champion

Day 327...uPPeR bOdY aNyoNe?...

So...another upper body day. I wanna be sore so bad...I want to FEEL what I have done. I don't need it...but I WANT that validation. There's a saying that is something like "the more I learn...the less I seem to know". I'm in that mode. The more I'm exposed to...the more I realize how much I have to learn. A and I worked together this morning. He knows how to build "muscles"...I know how to outlast...how to endure...how to keep going when there's a shortage of oxygen. I'm trying to learn from him. It has been SO long since I trained like this. It's coming back...slowly but surely.

I ate a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I told A. He flipped when I told him so. He said eating it will make me all "bloated". Ewww! I hate that word...BLOATED! I mean is there EVER a time that anyone hears that word and doesn't get grossed out. I do. And for the record...I'm NOT bloated!...at least I don't think I am. Surely I would know...wouldn't I?

WARMUP

WORKOUT (UPPER BODY)
--------------------------------
BENCH PRESS (65 LBS) - 3 SETS (18+16+12=46 TOTAL)

THEN:

8 CHIN UPS
(NO KIPPING ALLOWED TODAY...STRICT...SO I USED THE SMALLEST BAND-THE BLUE ONE)

12 BAND PULLS (BLACK RESISTANCE BAND)
----------------------
3 SETS

THEN:
8 STRICT SHOULDER "MILITARY" PRESS (45 LB BAR)
--------------------------------------------------------------
4 SETS

THEN:
20 BENCH DIPS
20 HAMMER CURLS (15 LB DBs)
----------------------------------------
2 SETS

CARDIO
------------
2O MINUTES OF NONSTOP, PURE PAIN ON THE AIRDYNE (this morning)

NOW I'M ON MY WAY TO RUN AT THE PARK FOR 20 MINUTES. I KNOW...I'M ADDICTED TO CARDIO.

6:24 PM...So, yeah...I took a run at 5PM. It was SO hot! Thank goodness it's not as bad as it has been. My 20 minute run turned into a 35 minute run.