Sunday, August 3, 2008

Day 323...iT's bEEn tHeRe iNsiDe mE aLL aLoNg...

When J first suggested that I become a trainer and work at his gym...I didn't take it seriously. I felt unqualified. He kept saying, "You KNOW what to do! You are just showing people what you love.". Still...I wasn't so sure.

When I need advice from a friend...I always turn to W. He NEVER steers me wrong. We are different enough that he offers me a fresh perspective and we are alike enough that he understands me. He really built me up. He made me believe that I could do it...but the pep talk only lasted for so long and then I was back to being afraid. Still...I made the decision and I started down the path. I studied...I went to school...I took a test and passed...and I did a lot of watching and helping at the gym. All the while...I wasn't sure that I could do it. I was afraid I would not be a good personal trainer.

Now I have 3 clients...okay so 1 of them is my sister...and I choose workouts and I teach and correct and encourage. Last Friday, I covered J's group classes. I was nervous when he asked me. What if they don't like me? What if I screw up? Still...I wanted to try. I wasn't perfect. Maybe the class didn't think so, but I think I did okay. Then there was only one person in the evening class. I wanted him to feel comfortable, but I also wanted to do my "job" and "coach" him. I don't know how well I did, but he was kind and made me feel capable and comfortable.

In the end, I realized that I have lots of room for improvement...but I also realized that my friends were right...I DO have it inside me. I frantically searched and hunted for something that I already possess. I still have so much to learn, but I'm definitely on my way. I just have to trust myself.


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