Monday, January 26, 2009

Day 492...dEfLaTeD...

For workout never "happened" today.  I'm still so sore from Saturday's workout.  I wanted to do...something, but I covered the 6AM group and then I had a "freebie...come try me out" session a couple of hours later.  Then there were people moving a large safe out and I wasn't sure if I should stay or I stayed and just worked on my computer.  After that it was off to catch some "fake sunshine" in the tanning bed and lunch with my lil Sis...a visit with an old friend and her baby...and BACK to the gym for a one on one sesh...and then I covered the 5:30 group for Jared so he could go to a firefighting meeting of some sort.  I didn't get home until after 7.  It was a long day!  

I hadn't even seen my kids so they were all hugs and happy to see me.  That was nice.  I needed those hugs.  I left my house full of hope...excitement...feeling wanted.  I came home feeling like a deflated balloon.  I was pretty bummed all day, but my Sis was the only one that I told...oh yeah...I mentioned it to J, but he didn't get the same details that K got.  I smiled and laughed on the outside even though I was super sad inside.

I thought that an opportunity had arisen that was a sign that I really am good at what I do...but...sometimes opportunities don't end up the way we want them to.  I just wanted to be wanted for something...that has nothing to do with appearances.  I wanted to feel respected and  Guess we can't always have what we want...


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