Monday, October 29, 2007

Day 46...lIFe GoES oN...LikE It oR NoT...

When my trainer, who became one of the best friends I've ever had, left on a 5 month "sabatical", he left me with a gift. It was like his way of taking care of me...without being here. He left me a book of workout for every day that he will be gone. I would rather him be here and be able to customize my workout to the exact day, because some days me and the workout he plans don't mix. Nevertheless, I've followed his plan and been so thankful for it. That book is VERY important to me. It's important because it tells me what to do, but it's also important, because it's all I have left of him. He has it set up by the week and day. Today is week 7 / day 1.

As I turn the page, it is amazing to me that he has been gone for 6 full weeks! I didn't want him to go for obvious, selfish reasons, but as my friend I wanted him to be happy. I don't hear from him much and he doesn't keep his blog up anymore, so when I get anything...any crumb...I scurry to get it. I wait for phone calls and e-mails that are few and far between, because he's busy. I understand that. I'm not a crazy stalker...I live my life...I don't constantly focus on him...but his leaving was hard, because I don't have any other "REAL" friends. I was so used to being alone...not feeling much joy...and he taught me how to be and have a friend. I have neighbors that I wave at and make random small talk with...and people from church that I talk to every now and then...but I don't have friends that I can laugh with and let go myself with...and look up to. I didn't think I could make it when he left and I still haven't gotten used to it...but today when I turned the page...I thought, "Life goes on.", and it does...whether we like it or not. Some days, I wish I could hire another personal trainer, but noone can live up to him...he can't be replaced...and that's what I would be looking for...a replacement to help fight off the loneliness and boredom. I worry that he won't come back, but I hope that he will...and until the final day comes, all I can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. So, I'm putting my shoes on and going to the gym...again...just like I did all the days before when he was goes on and I'll be okay.

WEEK 7 / DAY 1

21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3
(25 MIN)


My workout was good. The 55# squats seemed easy, eventhough I'm still sore from Saturday's workout. I don't EVER "just" walk for cardio, because the truth is...I feel it's beneath me. I know it sounds so I'm a workout elitist...but it's the honest truth. It is almost embarrassing to me. Today I wanted to do something longer and burn fat and calories without killing myself. It was good...not what I want to do all the time...but a nice change of pace.

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