Friday, October 12, 2007

Day 29...rUnNIiNg To cAtcH MysELf...


Am I a bad person for not wanting to go to my daughter's awards ceremony? Oh, I went...I would never miss it...I've run in late more times than not and secretly complained...but I wouldn't want her to look out and see nothing but the faces of strangers...I want her to see ME....I want to smile and wave and give the cheesy thumbs up that we moms give at random times to express pride. So I went...and then I had to get to the gym ASAP so that I could workout before I had to be back up there at 11AM with lunch for the parent/kid picnic outside for all the kids with good behavior all 6 weeks.

I went and worked out. It was an enjoyable workout...I mean the gut wrenching...long...hard kind that I love. My only problem was that my left knee got to hurting pretty bad by the middle of the last round. It felt strange and a little unstable at one point so I stopped for 5 minutes. Those final thrusters were a struggle, but I overcame the desire to quit and finished strong. I did a little cardio and left to tan and grab lunch. I was sweaty...stinky...ugly...and hoping that I wouldn't be embarrassing to my child. I had just enough time to make it...if there were no complications along the way...which of course there were.

I was late for lunch...stressing...feeling guilty. There was my little blondie...scanning the yard with her red glasses and her ponytails...our eyes met and she smiled and ran to me. She wasn't even mad that I was late and she didn't even seem to notice that I was sweaty and didn't smell very good. The stress slowly melted away. I probably don't deserve the love my kids give me...all the times they forgive me...I DO love them even though I screw up alot and I think they know that. On days like today, I feel like I'm running just to catch up with myself. These are the days that I realize that I don't need a nanny...I need a clone. But I'm glad to have these days, because when I'm the craziest...when I wonder how I'll get it all done...when I want to "stop the ride and get off"...I feel like I have a purpose...like I'm needed...depended on. After all that rush, I'm home...alone...writing words on a computer because I have no one to say them to. I need to remember that the next time an awards ceremony comes along and kill the silent complaints. I had a good hard workout and I had fun clapping...and being seen...and giving the thumbs up...and sitting on the concrete sneaking a few bites of my baby's lunch while we giggled and talked. I was running to catch myself, but it was a great run!

WEEK 4 / DAY 5
(warm up 5 min crosstrainer)
20 X BOX JUMPS
20 X BALL TOSS 10#
20 X SITUPS
20 X PULLUPS (JUMPING)
20 X PUSHUPS (1ST 2 ROUNDS "BOY STYLE" LAST ONE "GIRLY")
20 X OVERHEAD LUNGE
20 X THRUSTERS 45#
RUN .25 MILES (8.5 TREADMILL)
3 ROUNDS
(50 MINUTES-TOOK A 5 MIN BREAK B/C I WASN'T SURE MY KNEE WOULD LET ME FINISH AND THEN FINISHED)

CARDIO
RAN 1 MILE (8 MIN)
STRETCHED FOR ABOUT 5 MIN
TOTAL = APPROX. 1 HR 10 MIN

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