Okay, so I know I'm way behind. P and I went to Vegas and had fun, but I didn't exactly work out....I just walked my butt off. Then Christmas came and went and then we went to Utah to visit P's family. I've worked out the entire time except for Sundays, but I haven't had the time to write about it. While I was on "vacation" in Utah, visiting in-laws...I worked out with a travel pass at the GOLD'S gym there. My usual gym went out of business and sold our membership to GOLD'S. I never went to the one here, because we only had 1 week left on our membership. I did figure that I would take advantage of what I had left while I was out of town.I got to GOLD'S the first day and immediately felt uncomfortable. I felt like all eyes were on me...the person these regular "muscle heads" had never seen there before...fresh meat. It's not like I'm the hottest or best looking...I'm not the skinniest and I don't have that much muscle. In fact, I feel quite the opposite, so when the stares continued, I was suffering some severe anxiety and struggling with my self esteem. I am used to working out amongst middle aged moms and senior citizens. This was NOT the case there. There were hot babes in tiny tops with big boobs and lots of guys...young and old...with lots of muscles doing a lot of showing off. Then, came frustration. There was no medicine balls, and NO open space for squats or lunges. I felt confined to working out like the masses. There were people everywhere in the free weights area...mostly men...men that do nothing but simple, heavy lifting...while grunting...and admiring their own muscles in the mirror...men that have never seen a burpee and couldn't do 20 if they tried...men that NEVER think "outside of the box"...that think the kind of things I do are easy and dumb...men that judge and stare when they should be working...and women that are just sitting there...giggling...with their big boobs.
Their stares made me feel...weird...UGLY...I felt like a freak. I love to workout, but everyday that I was there, I left unsatisfied. I worked out for 2 hours everytime, but it didn't matter. I could've stayed there all day and I wouldn't have felt good when I left. Now I don't know what to do...I'm back home, but...I'm a girl without a gym and I feel scared. My new trainer J is going back to school and still trying to get another job. I'm afraid that one day soon, he'll be gone. My options are limited. It's yucky, little, old Utopia (where I workout w/ J) or new, big, fancy 24 HR Fitness...which is likely to be a similar atmosphere to what I experienced at GOLD'S...and I have decided that I hate GOLD'S gym!!!
Today my trainer was sick for the 2nd day. My hip was hurting yesterday, so I took his absence as an excuse to rest. Today, I did 45 hard minutes on my elliptical at home...followed by 100 "butt lifts" and 2 sets of 20 bicep curls with 12# DBs. I had to quit, because I had yet another Dr. appt. for my aching foot...which is FINALLY feeling better. I feel fat and lazy...I NEED to workout hard tomorrow...NO MATTER WHAT!!!
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