Friday, January 18, 2008

Day 126...holding on...

Today has been really hard. I feel so sad. I didn't want to get out of bed, but I'm a mom...I CAN'T be selfish like that. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make it through training today. It's hard to train like this when you can't focus...when you feel like you have nothing left to give. I decided this morning that I just needed to hold on...even if I feel like I'm hanging by a thread...because as hard as today may be...tomorrow will be has to always I just had to wash my face, hold back the tears, paste on a smile, and press on.

I'm so glad that I went to the gym. The things that are bothering me are still there, but my mood is much lighter. I know I wasn't very fun to be around today, but J was patient and nice anyways. I don't think he has any idea how much that helped me...but it did. I feel better...I smiled...I worked hard. I wasn't anywhere near "top form", because I feel distracted. I was a bit sloppy and silly and I felt a bit reluctant at times, but I did it.

We did rope pulls, star jumps, pushed the water container around, and I did situps with a 15# medicine ball toss in the middle. Then, we went outside and flipped a big tire, did kettle bell swings, and "box" jumps. I attempted to hit the tire with a sledgehammer...but I don't usually do manual labor like that...I'm clumsy so I was a little scared to just let a nutshell..I sucked when it came to the sledgehammer. It's okay...we got a few laughs out of it...I was the comic relief. This is not an exact list of what we did, but it's pretty close.

Working out was the best part of my day.

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