the pain diaries: Day 125...wHy cAn'T i sToP?...

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Day 125...wHy cAn'T i sToP?...

What is my problem??? Why can't I ever just stop? Why can't I make a decision and follow through? Why do I always second guess myself?

I was feeling really tired and hurting yesterday, so I made a decision. I decided that today I would JUST do cardio...long cardio...and that was my intention when I got to the gym this morning. I got on the elliptical, put it on a hard program, cranked up the resistance, and got started. I planned on 45 minutes on the elliptical and 15 min on the bike or treadmill. At about the 20 minute mark, I was feeling good..strong...and I thought to myself, "Hmmm. I haven't done Sumo Deadlift High Pulls in forever. Maybe I should do some." I brushed off the thought and tried to stay on course...NOTHING but cardio today! As I wiped the elliptical down after I was finished, I couldn't shake the thought...the thought that I SHOULD do MORE. I decided that I would just do 50 SDHPs and 50 air squats...THAT'S IT!

I cranked up my ipod and went to work. The next thing I knew, I had done 150 SDHPs and 300 Squats! How did this happen? What did I just do?...these were the thoughts in my mind as I stumbled back onto the elliptical for 15 more minutes. I was just thinking yesterday how nice it was to have smaller legs, but then I turn around and do crazy leg exercises...AM I CRAZY?...or what?!? I can't keep doing the same stuff and expect different results. As my Mom always says, "If you keep on doin what you've always done...you'll keep on getting what you always got!"

All in all, it was a good day at the gym...I just need to control the urge to do more next time.

CARDIO
----------
45 MIN ELLIPTICAL HIGH RESISTANCE-"HILLY" COURSE

THEN:
50 SUMO DEADLIFT HIGH PULLS WITH 40 # DB (150 TOTAL)
100 SQUATS (300 TOTAL)
REPEAT FOR A TOTAL OF 3 ROUNDS

15 MIN ELLIPTICAL MEDIUM RESISTANCE-FLAT COURSE
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A FEW OF THE SONGS THAT GOT ME THROUGH TODAY...
"Dead and Bloated" -Stone Temple Pilots
"Sex Type Thing" -Stone Temple Pilots
"The Diary of Jane" -Breaking Benjamin
"Topless" -Breaking Benjamin
"The Pretender" -Foo Fighters
"Dragula" -Rob Zombie

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website