Friday, January 11, 2008

Day 119...sIcK AnD tIReD...

I'm sick. I said I refused to be sick a week ago...but I am...the doctor said so yesterday. I have a sinus infection. My face actually hurts. It's not's just a dull, constant ache. My head feels like it's a pressure cooker and the top is about to blow off. I'm snotty. I'm coughing...etc. etc. etc. In a nutshell, I feel like crap. I never stay in bed when I'm sick. I go go go, but as I write this...I'm just getting out of bed. It's not like I'm deathly ill and can't get's just that I don't want to...which is really strange for me. In the past I would've gone to the gym and be showering and getting ready to go out for the day...that's not the case today. I would've already worked out today, but J had to be somewhere early and we couldn't work out a time to train that worked. I was a bit bummed, but now I'm glad to have the opportunity to rest...kinda. P and I are supposed to go to dinner and a movie without the kids, so I'm taking my antibiotics and resting up in hopes that I'll feel up to it tonight.

I'm gonna get on my elliptical with no resistance and just go at a normal pace for an hour...if I try to workout like I normally do...high resistance and fast paced...I'll never make it. I probably shouldn't do anything, but I am going to so that I don't beat myself up for it for the rest of the day. I'd rather suffer for an hour than suffer for the rest of the day and night. I so need to get over this obsession, but I don't think I ever will, so I just manage it the best I can. I want to lose 5 lbs. so bad. I think about it all the time. So, I'm headed upstairs to continue the battle...the same battle that I fight everyday...the battle in the war against being fat. I can not...I will not lose.


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