Friday, March 28, 2008

Day 196...i pReTTy mUcH sUCk...

I know that positive thinking is important...BUT...I'm not feelin so positive after today's workout. I feel like I pretty much SUCK! I was slow and weak and whiny. I'm embarrassed of my performance and now I'm scared to go back tomorrow.

First, I have to say that the "noon" crowd at the gym was...NUTS! One kid kept flexing his biceps and making googly eyes...AT HIMSELF!!! Another guy, literally pulled up his shirt to admire his abs and STROKE them lovingly as well...literally. Then some poor maniac that looked like a 55 yr old accountant came in and played "MR. BIG BAD KUNG FOO M.M.A. FIGHTER DUDE"! It was so crazy that I had to turn my back on him to be able to finish my last 75 jump ropes. At the end, he did some crazy move like "Cmon! Let's fight!"...mind you..he's ALONE! He was "fighting" not only the 2 punching bags, but the metal post as well. I just busted out in hysterical laughing. I know it's mean. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and tired. I had NO control left!

Okay, so on to MY working out...from the beginning, I struggled with the push presses. I like push presses and normally don't have a problem, but I was so tired and feeling so it took twice as much effort to do what I normally do. The KTEs (knees to elbows) were a disaster. My hands were hurting so bad, and they took me forever. The only thing that wasn't hard was jump roping. That was like a welcome relief...a break. There were 2 specific times when I struggled to not break down and cry. I feel like such a I can't get it back.

I got done and took off my gloves to see that I have a few nice raised white calluses on one hand...nothing out of the ordinary. The other hand...the one that was hurting so has a nice big callus that has blood under the skin!

No wonder I couldn't hold on to the bar!
I tried to do cardio, but my body just wouldn't allow it. My legs literally would not run...they were giving out and I was afraid I would fall off the treadmill. Completely defeated...I got my stuff and left the gym...sad...discouraged. I sat down in my car feeling the tears start to well up in my eyes when something told me to check my phone. I checked it only to find out that my friend W had just called.

I called him back and we had a nice talk. He's coming to visit and I can't wait! He distracted me from my "pity party" and kept me from crying without even knowing it. I miss him and wished I could talk to him more...sometimes it makes me feel frustrated...but when I really NEED him...he's ALWAYS there. I sucked at working out today, but I am lucky to have W as a friend.

25, 20, 15, 10, 5

No comments: