Sunday, October 26, 2008

Day 407...miRRoR MiRRor oN tHe waLL...

~"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fattest one of all?"~

That's the question I ask some days. I'm always hard on myself. I expect perfection...and I'm far from perfection. I know that nobody is perfect...but's what I desire! I've been feelin bigger...fatter...eventhough my clothes fit exactly the same. Then, I saw my picture on the gym website yesterday and it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I was shocked by how BIG I look. I'd like to comfort myself by saying that the camera adds pounds or that it's just a bad pic...but that would be a lie. I also know that my perception of myself is distorted. I went to bed last night...hating the way I look. I guess all I can do is go into this week and try and work as hard as I can in the gym. I WILL work hard this week.


1 comment:

Shorty said...

Girl, I used to think I was really hard on myself until I began reading your blog. You beat yourself up on a daily basis almost! I think you need to adopt a new mantra...not one that starts with "I suck" or "I feel fat." More like one that says "I'm beautiful!" Even if you don't believe it you need to say this to yourself over and over and over and over until it becomes a natural first thought. I think you will struggle so much less with the mental portions of your workouts and how you treat yourself. Picture yourself with your favorite jeans and heels on all the time, even when your lounging in sweats. You're not big, you're not fat, and you work way too hard every day to become anything close to that. Be nice to you!!! : )
Have a great day my friend!