Friday, October 17, 2008

Day 398...i sUcK!!!...

I went in to workout...I knew what I was gonna do...I knew what time I wanted to beat. J and A were there, so we chatted a bit and then I got ready to start the stopwatch...and my workout. I kept stallin...I'm not sure why...I just was nervous and I knew once I started...I was committed til the end. I don't quit...not usually.

I could tell this would not be good from the moment I ran back in the door and started trying to do my 50 PULL UPS! I could only get like 3 or 4 at a hands were hurtin and I felt I had no energy. I also felt very discouraged and VERY frustrated. You see...I've never felt like I measure up. It's always been this way...since I was a little when I go to the gym and I push through the pain...when I run a little faster or lift a little more...than takes the edge off of the pain. Not so today. I finally stopped the stopwatch because it was too hard to see how behind I was. Still, I don't I "carried on"...feeling really low...holding back tears. Then, I went to do SDHPs and No matter how hard I tried...I was struggling so with the weight, that I finally took 10 lbs off. That was especially bad because J had just told me how well K, a tiny, cute, little 115 lb lady at the gym was so strong when she did this yesterday. He said, "She was just throwing that weight up! It was impressive!" Now let me say...I'M NOT THE KIND THAT WISHED FAILURE ON OTHERS SO I CAN SUCCEED...I truly wish that everyone that comes to the gym improves and grows stronger and does the best they can. I am honestly happy when they do...I consider all the people that come to be my friends. At the same time I feel like THEY are improving...while I slide backwards. The final blow was when I came to the thrusters...I did 3...then 2...the 3...then 2...then 3...then 1...and I took 20 lbs off...and I did 2...and then I did 3 (barely...and I threw the bar down and quit. Yes, I QUIT.

I know I said that I don't quit, but I literally felt like I could not do it physically and in the mental state I was in at that point there was NO pushin through. I rolled the tire outside to flip it. Not a problem for me usually. I couldn't do it. I rolled it back in and called it a day. I suck!

500 M ROW

RUN 400 M
RUN 400 M
RUN 400 M
25 SDHPs (75 LBS/65 LBS)
RUN 400 M
25 THRUSTERS (65 LBS/45 LBS) only did 19 of them

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