the pain diaries: Day 226...i dOn'T kNoW wHaT tO tHinK...

Monday, April 28, 2008

Day 226...i dOn'T kNoW wHaT tO tHinK...

Here I go again... I'm not crazy sad or down after my workout. Actually, I'm not sure how I feel or what to think of myself...of my performance. I was cautiously optimistic about today's WOD. I hurt my hand pretty bad last week...and it's doing a lot better...but it's still pretty sore...and that new skin is very sensitive. I really thought that I could just tape it up and do whatever I want...pullups included.

I was wrong. From the get go...I was out of sync. I couldn't get the right grip and my hand was hurting...really bad. I didn't want to complain or tell J that I needed to stop. I just wanted to push through. It finally became apparent that it wasn't going to work. I think that J was disappointed and thought maybe I wasn't trying. The problem was that it takes concentration to do well on these types of workouts. It also takes commitment to the workout and to finishing. It was becoming difficult to commit or concentrate when I had to keep adjusting the tape...then trying to put gloves on...then trying gloves without tape. I was a disaster. Every time, I would go out to run...I was internally beating myself up...which only slowed me down and made matters worse. J finally changed it up, but at that point I was off my game.

When I was done, I did 30 minutes on the rowing machine for my cardio. It was much harder than I anticipated. I was feeling so desperate during the last 5 minutes that it was crazy. I was glad though because the intensity helped me walk away feeling like I had done...something. A new "Mansfield Crossfitter" is coming in to workout at the same time as me tomorrow. J and I joked that he'll probably come in and be way stronger and faster than we are. Today was weird. I hope tomorrow goes a little smoother.

WARMUP
-------------
10 OVERHEAD SQUATS (REPEAT 3X)

WORKOUT
-----------------
21-15-9

INVERTED RING ROWS (FEET UP ON BOX)
THRUSTERS (65 LBS)
PULL UPS (BAND ASSISTED)

400M RUN AFTER EACH ROUND.

J SCRAPPED THIS ON THE LAST ROUND AND HAD ME DO SOME BOX JUMPS, LUNGES CARRYING A KB, AND WALK OUTSIDE ACROSS PARKING LOT WHILE HOLDING A 45LB BAR OVERHEAD. I FINISHED WITH A 800 M RUN.

CARDIO
----------
30 MIN ROWING MACHINE (5975M)

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website