the pain diaries: Day 201...WHOA!...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Day 201...WHOA!...

I went in with dread today. I'm not proud of my attitude or performance yesterday. The one thing that I AM proud of...is that when I was depressed last night...I made a batch of sugar cookie dough with the intention of baking and eating ALL of it. I just needed "comfort" and warm sugar cookies and cold milk sounded like some comfort to me. I snapped out of it luckily and realized that doing that is the worst possible solution, so I turned off the preheated oven and washed ALL the dough down the sink. It felt good to be in control...of something.

This morning my body was begging for rest, but J is leaving out of town so today was the last day I had left. He worked out with me which surprised me. I know that I haven't been "good enough" to workout with since I came back. I don't know if he really wanted to workout with me, or if he was planning to let me "win"...whichever way...it was fun to workout together again. We got our stuff and did the first part of our workout. Whoa! It was hard...stressful. I haven't used my 35LB kettlebell since I've been "back". It was heavier than I remember. The box jumps were hard for me. I almost felt like my quads are so tired that I wasn't going to make it up each time and it was really painful standing up on top. I finished before J. I think he LET me beat him. I'd much rather like to think I did on my own, but I think he took pity on me. After we got off the floor from recovering...we went to the next round...20 minutes of burpees and pullups. Is he freakin crazy?!? Actually it was fun...neverending and tiring...but still fun.

I feel better than I did yesterday. I still feel a little sad, but I'm moving on. I think I'm just really fatigued. J has worked me with alot of weight this week. I'm kind of excited to come up with workouts on my own for the next couple of days. I want to see what I can do without my "boys".

WARMUP
-----------
5 MIN ELLIPTICAL
STRETCHING

WORKOUT
--------------
25 SDHP (45LB BAR)
25 BOX JUMPS (22IN)
25 KB SWINGS (35LB)
25 ARM STEP UPS
25 THRUSTERS (45LB BAR)
TIME 6:36

THEN:
20 MINUTES OF BURPEES (W/PUSHUP)/PULLUPS

CARDIO
----------
45 MIN ELLIPTICAL
STRETCH

TODAY'S "POWER" SONGS:
"I LIKE IT, I LOVE IT"- Lyrics Born
"CALLIN OUT"- Lyrics Born
"HOTT 2 DEFF"- Lyrics Born
"CUTE WITHOUT THE 'E' (CUT FROM THE TEAM)-"Taking Back Sunday" (good tip from J)
"MAKEDAMNSURE"-"Taking Back Sunday"

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website