Sunday, April 6, 2008

Day 204...WHAT was I thinking?!?...

I am a "night owl". If I had my way, I'd stay up til 2AM and sleep until 11AM...that is what I did for years in college and as a "newlywed". That all ended 12 years ago when I had my first child. I'm still NOT a morning person. I still stay up late. I NEVER get to sleep in. I feel like I'm sleeping in if I wake up at 7:30 or 8AM. Today my eyes opened and the clock said 10:15AM! What?!? That's crazy! What happened?!? Then the haze started to lift and it became clear. When I turned hurt. My shoulders are in a constant state of aching. My butt is KILLING me. My wrists are sore. Most everything hurts. My body is exhausted.

My thought upon stumbling to the kitchen for the breakfast that my husband cooked was..."WHAT WAS I THINKING YESTERDAY?!?" Am I insane? Why do I do this to myself? I know the answers. I was thinking it wouldn't be so bad. I KNEW I could do it. YES...I am crazy. I do this because I WANT to love what I see...and I still don't. I do this because I'm afraid of being fat again. I do this...because as bad as it sore as I crappy as I feel...I am stronger body AND soul because of it. If I had to make the choice again...I wouldn't change a thing.

SUNDAY = REST DAY (Halleluiah!)

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