Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Days 289...290...fEaR aNd reDeMpTioN...

Wow...the last two days have been full...full of many emotions...excitement...anticipation...fear...relief...sadness...and comfort.

DAY 289...MONDAY...
This day was a "mess" from the start. My car was not acting right so my husband left me his car so I wouldn't have to worry about getting everywhere I needed to be. I went out to go to the gym to train my first client...my sis...and to my shock...HIS car would not start!!! I was so worried. I tried 2 times and went inside to get my phone to call my sister. I tried the car again...it started...relief. I trained my sis and then I worked out between her and my next client, L. It was a good workout...one of my favorites. I completed it and sat nervously waiting for L. This was my first session with a paying customer. I had a lot of nervous anticipation. She came and was so much stronger than I expected. We did her assessments and decided to do a short workout. She really wants to do Crossfit workouts, so I decided to scale the WOD from yesterday. Again she surprised me with her ability. I was LOVING her! We finished and I did my cardio on the rowing machine and left. When I got home to record what she had done, I realized that she did a very high number of exercises and started to worry that it was too much. I felt so stupid...so panicked. I told J...knowing he would be mad...he was. I was so upset and I had to meet J to talk about this before meeting my 3rd client of the day. My son and I went to lunch...ordered and when I went to pay, I realized that my wallet was at home. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! Luckily I had a stash of cash and it was just enough. We got back home and I was depressed and wanted to sleep but I knew that wasn't best so I decided to try and relax with a pedicure. I got in the car and once again...it wouldn't start! After 3 tries...bingo! It started. I got a great pedicure and went to face an angry J. He felt no pity and told me all the ways I messed up...all the things I had already been thinking all day. I was miserable but had to be "normal" for my next client. That went well and I headed home...my mind still spinning and my heart still heavy. I fell asleep watching TV. I got an email from the client I was worried about, L...she seemed fine. I felt a few moments of relief. I was excited to tell J...he didn't care...still told me what could happen if I over worked her. Depressed...I went to sleep.


SQUAT 80, 64, 48, 32, 24, 12
KB SWING (26 LBS) 40, 32, 24, 16, 12, 6
JUMPING PULL UP 20, 16, 12, 8, 6, 3



DAY 290...TUESDAY (today)...

I slept in. I couldn't go up to the gym to watch the 6AM class. I needed rest...and a break. A called to say I could watch his sessions. I went and tanned and went up to the gym. The sessions went well. I worked out with his client, K. It was a whoopin! I couldn't finish. I don't know if that's ever happened before. I was so nauseous and dizzy, but it was great. When I was done I went to run with my friend, W (A's bro). We had a great run and an even better talk. W always calms me...always helps make the most complicated situation seem simple...clear. He is my friend because I leave better when I see him. I was proud. His running has come so far since he left. It was just what I needed. I stopped to eat and headed home. I called L to see how she was. She was happy and fine. What a relief. I called J to report. Ahhhh...I felt a little relief...a little redemption. I went to a class at the gym this evening and it went well. J doesn't seem so mad at me anymore. Today was so much better than yesterday. Thank heavens...I can step away from the edge of the proverbial building I wanted to jump off of yesterday! W said today..."you're always dramatic, but..." Ha! It was so funny. Funny, because I can't deny it...I AM dramatic...but I like to call it passionate. Passion is drama with a cause...right? Now it's time for more rest before an early day tomorrow...





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