the pain diaries: Day 296...aT tHe LasT miNuTe...

Monday, July 7, 2008

Day 296...aT tHe LasT miNuTe...

We woke up later than we expected. Last year...I was up EVERY day at 6 or 7 to run. This year...I'm a sleepy head. I woke up around 9:30 but it was 10 before we got out of bed. We were planning on going to Art Cafe at 10...woops! Our kids love to go there and paint something every year. They paint, then we go back a few days later after it has been fired. They love seeing their creations turn shiny and come to "life". We hurried up and left by 11. It turned out to be perfect, because no sooner did we get there...and the rain started to fall. The kids had fun and then we ate at The Frosty Frog...the place that we HAVE to eat at every year after we paint.

The sun came out and we headed to the beach. I get stressed at the beach when I think people are staring at me. I feel SO self conscious and I start picking myself apart. Do I look fat? Are my legs jiggly? Is my butt up high enough? Do I look okay??? There is always a group of guys that sit in a circle...all day...and stare...and comment as though I can't hear...every year...it's always different men...but the same story. We tend to see the same people all week. It's funny how people stake out "their spot" and return to it everyday. So, I'll have to contend with the stares...and smiles...and seeing them jab each other when I walk by...and the comments all week. My husband reminds me that it is not because I look bad. I TRY to remember that. Still...I kept thinking...I shoulda worked out today! We meant to go check out a gym down the street, but time never allowed. We stayed at the beach until later than normal because we decided that we would stay in to eat tonight. That gave us more freedom with our time because we didn't have anywhere that we had to be at any certain time. I know..I never cook at home yet I willingly offered to cook on vacation...strange, but true. So..to ease my worry over not working out...I decided to go run before dinner. I went home and changed into shorts and running shoes and went right back to the beach. It was a tough run with the wind blowing against me, but I'm glad that I went. Just when I thought I wasn't going to make it...I got a run in at the last minute.

3.5 MILE RUN ON THE BEACH

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website