the pain diaries: Day 309...tHeRe's fiNaLLy a nAMe...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Day 309...tHeRe's fiNaLLy a nAMe...

"From my observation, the soldier is willing to serve despite his or her personal comfort or wishes, something many people are unwilling to do. They face terrible circumstances and situations, loneliness, and fear while the rest of us live our lives and go about our business.” ~J. L. FLECKENSTEIN (artist of this painting)

This whole" war thing" has been going on for a LONG time. Those of us without anyone close to us currently serving in the military don't give it much thought on a day to day basis. I know for me that I don't give much thought when I see or hear a story of another soldier that is killed...serving our country. I never think about the toll war takes on many of the men and women that survive. I think it's sad, but I've never shed a tear. I think it's unfair, but I know that someone has to do it. It's not that I don't care or think that it's okay. I think for me...I think of them as JUST soldiers...not as people...not as husbands or sons or brothers or friends. I see them all the same...it's almost like I see one of them as all of them...a group...not individuals. They are just a face without a name to me.

I've never really thought about this until yesterday. When we were finished with our workout, we were sitting...talking...recovering. At one point, I looked over at B...talking with excitement about leaving for Marine boot camp today...and for a moment...I was a little sad. I looked at those big blue eyes and that great big smile, and I thought about how much he will change...how hard the next 13 weeks will be for him...how dangerous the job he chose is. It's funny, because I don't even know him that well, but I can tell that he's a good kid and I really like him.

I think from now on...I will be more aware. I have always been grateful...but I will be a little more grateful for the sacrifice that soldiers make so that I can live my life without evening thinking about the war. From now on...I will pray for the soldiers fighting for my freedom...and I will think of B the next time I see a casualty of war on the news...and I will hope he's okay. There's finally a name for me to put on the face of a soldier.

SUNDAY = REST DAY

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website