Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Day 248...wEakLiNg...

I hate to admit it...but I'm actually having a lot of fun at the Cooper Institute. I've made some friends and I'm learning a lot. My favorite new friend was freaking me out today. He looks and acts like my good friend, W. It's almost scary. His build is almost identical. He looks like W, when I first met him. We laid in the floor and laughed during our "Flexibility" section today. We were dying because we are so inflexible. He even got me to do something I didn't want to do...without much resistance...yet another "W like" quality. He got me to try hummus. It wasn't too bad. I'd like to try another flavor...he said to try garlic. Anyways...I'm actually going to miss my new friends, D and S and the 2 Ms when this week ends...we've had fun so far.

So, everything is going really well at school..at least it was until late this afternoon when we started doing the assessments. I knew I would suck at the "sit and reach" test because I'm inflexible...so that did not bother me...but I figured I'd do well on pushups and situps. Me and my girl friends in class were pretty close with situps, because they take longer to do than a pushup...especially the "old school" way thy make you do them. Pushups...I was so shocked by. Okay...so here's the lowdown on my "girls". S sits next to me. She's a dietician...very bubbly and easy to talk to...she's thin, but not "tight" or muscular...she's 45 yrs old and very much looks her age. Then there's the 2 Ms...the first M is a trainer...37...pretty...very good shape but not especially muscular...eats really "clean" and never stops whining...about being cold or hungry or tired or bored. She's kinda annoying but she's also likeable. The other M is a late twenties single mom...she's a tiny, skinny, mousy little thing...not strong looking AT ALL...she's scared to death of failing the test on Friday...but overall she's really nice. So, I'm thinkin...push up test?...NO PROBLEMA! I'm gonna blow these girls away. Then...they ALL did more than me...by quite a bit. I only did 23 in a minute!!!

I went to the gym on my way home and I tried to do bicep curls with a 40 lb bar...something I've done fairly easily before. I could only do 10. I tried to workout, but I was so discouraged, that I just left. Now, I feel SO weak. When I look I the mirror...I see fat. I'm just shocked. What is going on with me? I used to be strong. I used to win. Now...I feel like a weakling.

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