the pain diaries: Day 234...tHe PaiN mOnSteR...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Day 234...tHe PaiN mOnSteR...

I've learned NOT to fear pain. I'm not a freak that's "in" to feeling pain...although another trainer at my old gym once said, "People look at you and think you're JUST a Mom. They don't know that you're a pain freak!". YIKES! My friend and "ex" trainer, W once told me that most of my success is due to the fact that I'm "not afraid to visit the pain monster". I believe that's true. I know that if I can try NOT to fight it and I use it to compel myself to get done, then the pain can actually work for me rather than against me.

Today, the "pain monster" definitely paid me a visit. J put me through a tough workout. I felt like it really stretched me. I came so close to puking...several times. I definitely need A LOT of practice on my Overhead Squats. I felt like that was where I was the weakest and the least stable. I struggled with the Thrusters, but I've never done them that heavy in a workout and I was really tired by then. I wanted to finish in 30 minutes or less, but I didn't make it. Next time I'll get it!

I realized something really important today...something that will help me with my insecurity and concerns about becoming a trainer. I got my feelings hurt and felt so inadequate when I was helping one of J's clients Saturday, because he said he wasn't really listening to me when I corrected him during the workout. Today I saw things from his perspective. At times, I felt desperate...I was hurting...tired...and he would tell me to watch my form or show me what to do or encourage me to keep going. I wouldn't respond...sometimes I couldn't...or I would feel like I was being snappy with him. It wasn't because I don't respect him or because I was mad. I was...in MY "zone"...just like that guy told me that he was on Saturday. No more whining on my part...besides...training is about what the trainer can help the client do and how they can help them transform themselves...physically and mentally...not about the trainer feeling important or liked all the time. I love it when I have breakthroughs!

WORKOUT
----------------
800M RUN
25 MEDICINE BALL CLEANS (16 LBS)
25 KTE
25 TUCK JUMPS
25 RING PUSH UPS (RINGS SUSPENDED WITH FEET ON 28 IN PLYO BOX)
25 OVERHEAD SQUATS (65lb ONLY A COUPLE...THEN 55 ABOUT 5...45 LB BAR FOR THE REST CUZ WE DIDN'T HAVE ALL NIGHT)
25 PULL UPS (HALF KIPPING / HALF ON BAND)
25 SDHP (65 LB)
800M RUN

TIME - 34:30

CARDIO (THIS MORNING)
---------------------------
45 MIN ELLIPTICAL

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website