the pain diaries: DAY 377...pLaYiN cAtCh uP!"

Friday, September 26, 2008

DAY 377...pLaYiN cAtCh uP!"

This has been a strange week...one that I can't say I'll be sad to see GO! I've felt behind...everyday...no matter what. I've felt like I've messed up...ALOT and I've been tired. Anywho, I haven't been posting my workouts...so I'll quit WHINING and start typing!

Day 375...Wednesday

"HELEN"
Run 400 M
21 Kettle Bell Swings
12 Pull Ups
TIME = 13:44

The last time I did this workout, it took me 17:26. NO! I didn't shave 4 minutes off my time! I did this when I was still training with J and he gave me the MEN'S RXed weight KB (53 lbs!!) instead of the WOMEN'S weight (35 lbs). It was hard, but really it was just the pull ups that got me. I never seem to get any better at them...but I did it so AGAIN...I won't whine about it.

Day 376..Thursday

20 BALL TOSS/SQUAT (16 LB D-BALL)
20 BALL SLAM (16 LB D-BALL)
20 BOX JUMP (24 IN BOX)
20 THRUSTER (45 LB BAR)
20 PULL UP (CHOSE TO USE SMALL BAND AND DO "DEAD HANG")
20 BACK EXTENSIONS (GHD)
20 SIT UPS (GHD)
RUN 400 M
3 ROUNDS FOR TIME (didn't time as I was SO slow moving)

THEN:
RUN 2 MILES

Bad...very bad! I woke up at 3:30 AM coughing. Then when I got up at 6:30 for the day, my throat was sore and my nose was running. I kept feeling sad and crying for NO REASON..I mean I have some things buggin me, but it was extreme. I felt so tired...so down...so weak. I MADE myself go to the gym! I got there...UGLY..no makeup...hairy legs...expecting to be alone. I pulled up...2 cars I did not recognize parked there...a Corvette and a Saturn...hmmmm When I walked in I was confused for a split second b/c it was A and K. I did not recognize them at first b/c those are NOT the cars they usually drive. Normally, there would be 2 trucks! I felt bad. I haven't seen A in forever and when I finally did...I was a depressive freak. I WANTED to be cheery and funny and happy...but I couldn't...I didn't have the strength. I think he thought I don't care. I do. I felt dumb. I started working out and it was NOT good. The moment I did my first rep...the moment I lifted a weight...I felt incredible fatigue. I never quit, but I wasn't sure I'd finish. It was very frustrating and hard on my ego. I did finally finish and then went and did a very short run before going back home.

DAY 377...TODAY...FRIDAY

I'm RELUCTANTLY resting! I talked to J last night about these problems/symptoms I'm having. He says it's "classic signs of over training!" and that I should rest...FOR A WEEK!!! I know I won't go a week! I'm too paranoid about being fat. A agreed with the overtraining part when I talked to him this morning...and says I need "work on my head" because of my "fears". Probably so, but whatever...I am who I am...paranoia and all! Somedays, I'm just a mess. I'm gonna get my nails done, shop, train JE, and try to relax!

REST DAY

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..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website