Friday, November 9, 2007

Day 57..."an easy 10" ?...not today...

My friend, W, once told me about a movie called "Without Limits". It's about Steve Prefontaine, and there's a part where he asks some track team guys if they want to "go out for an easy ten (miles)"...actually there is some debate over whether it's "an easy ten" or "a quick ten"...either way it's just funny to think that someone could refer to a ten mile run as quick or easy, but I guess it was for Pre. Today was my 5K/ABS day. I got up at 5:45 AM and got ready to go in to the gym early since I had to be at the Elementary school by 8:45 and I was determined not to be late. My husband came in from his 5AM trip to the gym around 6:10. I should've left immediately, but I sat and freaked to him about how upset I am with my body and my weight. I feel like my stomach looks like a bowl of jelly and I can't seem to lose weight. I've upped my cardio to almost an hour a day! I want to lose 5 lbs and I can't even lose 1...I just hold steady...and it's frustrating. I always relied on W, to help me make things happen...and he did. If I said I want smaller arms...I got smaller arms. If I said I want a bigger, higher butt...I got my "J-Lo". I have to do this now...myself. Once I got done panicking; whining, I behind schedule. I got on the treadmill feeling tired and worn out before I even began...pretty typical of a Friday. I cranked it up and began my run.

Today, my run was not quick and certainly not easy. I love running, because I love the control I feel over my body. I love running faster when I want to stop. I love that my body tells me I'm dying, but I can disagree...keep going...and LIVE to tell the tale. I can make my body go even when it seems impossible...that's the general rule. There are a few exceptions to this rule was one of those days. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself keep going. My body staged a coup and betrayed me today. It is always very hard for me to give relent...but body insisted. I had to just do intervals, and even that was really hard. I wanted to give up...walk out...hating myself...but I didn't allow it. Even Pre, one of the greatest runners to live, lost races. So, I lost the race today...didn't make the finish line...but next time I will. I guess we all have those days every now and then.....

NO TIME FOR ABS (doesn't help the jelly belly!...but I did get to the school on time)

"You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep running, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement."

-----------------------------STEVE PREFONTAINE--------------------------

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