Thursday, June 19, 2008

Day 278...wHy dO i dO tHiS?...

On days when I'm frustrated...or hurting...or feeling defeated...I ask myself, "Why do I do this?". Why do I push myself to the limit? Why do I do things that I know will cause me pain? Why do I WANT to do this again when I'm so sore I can't stand it? Easy to answer...without hesitation...because I love the way it makes me look..and feel...and think. I'm always wanting more. I never think I look good enough...never muscular enough...never skinny enough...the list goes on...BUT...I'm not an idiot. I know it keeps me looking younger and better. I like my body better now than I did 15 years ago. I love the way it makes me feel...sometimes I get frustrated or sad...BUT most of the time I feel satisfaction...I feel a rush when I complete a difficult workout. I am not only stronger physically than when I was younger...I am stronger mentally. I have learned that the struggle and pain brings understanding...confidence...and clarity.

I've been really sore for the last few days. I only did cardio yesterday and today...and my run today was painful. I feel worried...like it's not enough...but I knew I should "rest". I felt like I couldn't do as much as I wanted and fear what tomorrow will bring but still...I look forward to it.

CARDIO
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30 MIN RUN (4 MILES)

...the soundtrack for my run..."THE BEST OF THE RAMONES"...

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