Day 501..."dOn'T bE aFrAiD tO tRy aGaiN...eVeRyOnE gOeS sOuTh eVeRy nOw aNd tHeN..." ~Billy Joel...

Everyone's heard the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try try again!".  Billy Joel sings something along the same line in The Stranger..."Don't be afraid to try again...everyone goes south every now and then...".  The Hives have a song called Try Again.  It says, "You get up.  You get down and you try it again.", but I think the sentiment I want to portray today is best said by mY "Workout Hero"...Mark Twight on the GYM JONES website.  He says, 

"Failing is the price for striving. Failing is essential to the process one undertakes to reach a position where he or she might succeed. Before achieving our goals we must learn the lessons of failure without getting in the habit of losing. And understand failure is a necessary component of self-knowledge."

I have a really hard time when I feel like I have failed.  I had a moment today at work where for a minute I felt like a failure.  I let those feelings engulf me and they led me to question my ability to succeed...both as a "trainer" and as an "athlete".  I have come so far.  I have overcome things that not many people are aware of to be where I am at...but still at times I wonder if I will ever achieve success in the way I want it.  As I sat down at my computer with tears streaming down my cheeks, I decided to read some of the inspirational quotes and passages that I collect.  I read the one above and then I came to this one by Mark Twight as well...

"Meaningful achievement takes time, hard work, persistence, patience, proper intent and constant self-awareness. The path to such success is punctuated by failure, consolidation and renewed effort. It is wet with the tears of emotional breakdown. Personal reconstruction is art. Discovering one's self, one's talent and ambition and learning how to express it is a creative process so may not be rushed. What's the hurry? Pressure to succeed according to a particular timeline comes from outside. If the goal is selfish self-improvement there is no schedule, no deadline. One's rate of progress is influenced by the intensity used to address the task. Hard, intelligent work speeds us along the path."

I almost felt as if he were speaking directly to me.  I will achieve success.  I work hard and I've been persistent when I wanted to walk away.  My intent is good and I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses.  The parts that I'm missing are patience and time.  I don't need more desire or knowledge or ability...what I need more of are those two things.  I still feel a little disheartened, but I also feel enlightened.

J texted to see if I wanted to "team up" with him and do the same workout that everyone else did this morning.  I was feeling down, but I went...because I knew I would feel better.  I was worried that if I did not do well in my workout that I would fall apart.  I got there and set up weight...he told me to use more...I told him I didn't think I could...he said, "You CAN!"...and so I tried...and I did.   I had 2 "misses" including one where I landed hard...on my butt...while holding the barbell weighing 95lbs.  It hurt...still does..but I got up and did it.  He never had to wait on me.  I did feel much better after working out with him.  I used "intensity to address the task" and I did not let a couple of failures along the way stop me.  I felt a great sense of relief and accomplishment as I laid in the floor...gasping for air when we were through.  I'm really glad that J invited me to workout...that he pushed me to use more weight than I wanted...that he is my friend. 

I can do this.  I just need to stop being afraid and impatient...and remember that "everyone goes south every now and then...".  And I need to keep trying...again and again and again.

CARDIO
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20 MIN RECUMBENT BIKE
10 MIN ELLIPTICAL

WORKOUT
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WITH A PARTNER...PERFORM 50 CLEAN AND JERKS (25 EACH PERSON - RX= MEN 135 LBS/WOMEN 95 LBS). AS SOON AS YOUR PARTNER DROPS THE BAR, YOU PICK IT UP.

AS SOON AS CLEAN AND JERKS ARE COMPLETED, THE TEAM JUMPS ON THE ROWERS AND GETS TO 1000M AS A TEAM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. J AND I WERE A TEAM AND USED RXed WEIGHT. WE COMPLETED THE WORKOUT IN 19:04.