Sunday, February 8, 2009

Day 505..."GiVe iT HeLL hOnEy! (he he he)"

Another Sunday...time for more of my mindless ramblings that probably don't make sense or interest anyone other than myself...but as I always say, "This is MY diary...I just happen to leave it lying open on the table for all to read.". I have nothing profound or insightful today...just a humorous story. When I was working out at a "big" gym...I had funny experiences every now and then with other patrons as well as employees there. Now it's usually just me and a barbell...and on a good day...if I'm lucky...a few friends suffering along side the stories that involve men asking me to lay plates on their laps for bench dips and pick up lines at the water fountain have long dried up.

Thursday...I ended up spending a good part of my day in the and on...and I was alone most of the day. I was tired and struggling to get through my warmup...a ONE MILE I decided to just stop and clean the gym up instead of moving on to workout. I had been working for probaby 45 minutes...wiping down everything...vacuuming...spraying Lysol (I feel like I'm becoming some sort of germaphobe!)...and then finally mopping. I had made my way up to the door when two men drive up in a beautiful 7 series BMW...quite possibly my favorite car...ever. They walked in and asked if they could walk through the gym to the offices behind us. I said, "Sure...just be careful because the floor is wet and I don't want you to slip." I thought it was funny, because the guy driving reminded me a bit of Chris Farley's character Matt Foley on SNL. He didn't have glasses, but he had that booming annoying voice and a big gut...a really big gut...and he kept tugging at his pants. Everytime he would tug at them, he would do this little side to side movement and I would imagine Matt Foley saying, "...That and a nickel will get you a nice hot cup OF JACK-SQUAT!". They walked through..didn't slip..and I quickly finished up and left to go eat.

During lunch, I had this whole "Tortoise and Hare" epiphany and decided to go back to the gym and workout. It was a beautiful day...breeze blowing...sun I drug all my equipment and did my entire workout outside. It was a workout that I went through and did the entire thing 3 times or for 3 rounds...for time. There was a 500M Row at the end of each round...which felt like pure torture...everytime. Needless to the end of the 3rd round...I was out of breath...sweating...desperate to be DONE. Just as I strapped my feet into the Rower and started my last painful 500 M...the same two men, along with a man that works for the pharmacy behind us, drove back up. I was gasping for air and grunting and groaning with every stroke. They were staring...and not being discreet about it either.

Now I understand that for most people...what we do...what I do is inconceivable.  They have no idea what it takes to complete a Crossfit-esque workout. There is no comprehension as to the amount of mental focus it takes or how excrutiatingly painful it can while it is a bit annoying...I try to be "forgiving" when people want to talk to me or make "cute comments" to me in the middle of a workout. Behind my sunglasses, I could see this Matt Foley-ish guy staring at me...waiting for just the right moment to make some comment. I ignored him...put up my invisible wall...tried to look miserable (which wasn't hard because I was)...anything to just get them to go away. They piddled around at the trunk and carried a few things in until finally my 500 M was complete. I unstrapped my feet and fell to the ground beside the rower as I stopped the chest rising and falling as I gasped for air...rolling side to side because my legs and back were screaming.

THIS...was the moment that "Matt" chose to speak. He said, "He he he...WHOOO won?...YOU?...or the MACHINE!?!". In broken words...still gasping...I said, "The ROWER...ALWAYS wins!" and turned my head to the side...hoping he would go away...and he did...but not before he shifted side to side pulling his pants up for the millionth time and said, " give it hell honey!  He he he!" and threw in a wink for good measure. Ewww. In my head, I said..."WTF mister?!? Can't you see me lying here...writhing in pain...out of breath?!? Do I look like I want to have a silly conversation...with a strange man that can't stop tugging at his pants??? WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MATT FOLEY'S ADVICE AND 'SHUT YOUR BIG YAPPER!'" reality...I controlled myself.  I just laid there...speechless...I gave him a really strained courtesy smile and a thumbs up. my life.


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