Saturday, September 22, 2007

Day's not ALWAYS as bad as it seems...

I was worried about today's workout...worried it was going to be to hard and that the weight would be too much on the first exercise, but while it was wasn't nearly as bad as I had assumed...not at all. I just never know what to expect. I LOVE that. I LOVE never really knowing...always guessing...anticipating. I LOVE that tiny bit of fear that stays with me everytime I go to the gym. If I'm not afraid...I'm not pushing myself hard enough...not progressing...not living up to my full potential...not respecting what I've been taught and the person that taught me. Eventhough I hate working out alone and miss the laughs and talks...the mindless luxury of showing up without any thought and letting someone else do the counting, timing, and thinking...I feel confident. I own it. I go in rooms and set up my workouts. I keep track and count. I have been successful at completing WEEK 1. That feels good....

(5 min warm up-3 min elliptical/2 min jumprope)
100 SDHP 45#
30 PULLUPS (jumping)
(30 minutes to complete)

30 minutes elliptical (no hands/crosstraining prog-level 10)

This workout wasn't too bad, although I did struggle to get through my cardio. I SO wanted to stop at about 13 minutes. It was hard to truly tell how I truly did because I got interrupted for 10 minutes or so in the middle of the SDHPs by the gym owner Mr. C. He had seen me doing my 2 min of jumproping warm up and came in the room I was in to tell me that I was going to kill my joints jumping the way I do. He insisted on "teaching" me how to do it the "right way". I'm smiling and my head, "CALGON! TAKE ME AWAY!" I humored him, because I didn't know what else to do. Then I couldn't shake him for 10-15 minutes. All I could think was, "My heart rate is dropping!...I don't care what a tough guy, expert, strong, fighter guy you are!...Oh great! Now everytime I jumprope, he's gonna be watching...critiquing...etc. etc. etc." He gave me some good tips, stood REALLY close to me, and told me a strange politically incorrect story about training with ballerinas years ago and what "fags" (his words...several times) they were but how hard it worked him and his strong fighting buddies. I wasn't sure how to get away. Mentally, I just curled up in a fetal position and went to a "happy place" until he ran out of crap to say and left so I could continue. It's so weird. I feel so vulnerable now in a way. When I was with W, no one bothered me or approached it's weirdos following me, asking me questions, trying to make small talk. Good thing I could "take" most of em! =) ha! Today was a strange, good, hard, easy day. No complaints!

No comments: