Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Day 6...I feel like an elitist monster

I went to the gym to do my workout today. I set up the bar (added 2 10# plates to equal 65# total) and did one thruster to see if it felt "right"...because I thought the last time I did this at the "warehouse", "compound", "hell hole"...whatever you wanna call it, we determined that I couldn't do that many with that much weight and I just did it with the bar (45#). I took the plates off and just used the bar. It seemed easy until I got to like 6 and then I knew this was heavy enough to do 21. I did the first two rounds (21,15) with the bar only, then added 10# to make 55# for the last set of 9.


4O MIN ELLIPTICAL (no hands)

I again finished this in 30 minutes including rest here and there. It was challenging at the higher numbers, but overall it wasn't too bad. Then I did 40 min on the mean, handless, elliptical that always used to wind me and kick my butt. I put the resistance on 9 and did a crosstraining...up and down...program. I burned a little over 480 calories, but it didn't hurt me like it used to. I was going hard and fast...I didn't slack, but I was surprised by how much stronger I am. I felt like a freak...a monster...not in a bad a surprised way.

I stretched in front of the window to the room where the aerobics/cardio classes are held...where all the cardio crazed...or "cardio-rexics" as I call them... gather faithfully everyday. I feel bad, because as I watched all the "cardio-rexic" mommies jumping around like crazed bunnies that are confused...I found myself thinking really mean, weird things like..."Why do they love doing this crap? None of them look good...most are overweight and the rest look weak and jiggly! Shouldn't the instructor at least look good? strong?" As I stretched...and watched what looked like a train wreck to me...and internally scoffed at them and thought how glad I am that I don't "need" those classes...something occurred to me. I realized that maybe that is all they know or even all they want to do...that even though I think they are weak and do way too much cardio or that they are not in the best least they are doing SOMETHING.

I felt a little an elitist workout monster. I silently apologized for the words they didn't hear...and then I was filled with immense gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunity that I had to work with an incredible trainer for a year. The way my attitude has changed and the strength and courage that I have found, are priceless to me. Instead of putting the "cardio-rexics" down...I need to remember where I came from....200 lbs, out of shape and where I am today...strong and healthy and armed with knowledge. Knowledge that helps me be better and do more than I have push harder than I thought I appreciate the pain and what it does for do something different than EVERYBODY else is doing. (even if you never see this...thanks, w)

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