Monday, September 17, 2007

Day 4...I can do this!

Well, it's my 4th day alone...but it was really like my 1st. It was my 1st day to go to the gym, warm up, lift, and do cardio. It was my 1st day of following the workouts in my 1st day without anyone to talk to 1st day of setting up my own 1st day with no one to push or encourage me. It was just me. I was worried about what would happen...worried that I had let myself become crippled and dependant...worried that I wouldn't accomplish what I normally am able to...worried that without someone to tell me, "Cmon!" and "Don't you stop!", I would listen to the ghosts of the past in my head telling me that "I'm worthless"...that "I can't."...that "I'm no good"...that "I'm weak"...that "It's too hard.".

It wasn't like that. I went to the gym. I stood tall, and I did the workout without any problems. I felt strong and confident. In fact, it almost seemed easy...maybe because I had built it up so much in my mind. I hope I'm sore tomorrow, so I KNOW that I did something today. I was able to put the weights on the bar and do my squats. I was aware of my form. I squatted as deeply as I could and didn't race through them. I feel better. I missed the fun and laughter and companionship of my trainer; my friend, but he has taught me well. He taught me to fly, so to speak. When the time came for me to leave the nest, I didn't fall...I flew...I flew like I had been flying forever. I'm not sad. I'm okay.


SQUATS @ 55#


I chose 40 min on the elliptical (cross trainer) 450calories

I warmed up for 5 min on the elliptical, and got through the 1st part in 30 minutes. Then, I did my cardio (with the ball of my foot, not hurting...but burning) and stretched for 5 minutes. The entire workout only took 1 hour and 20 minutes. That's so short for me, but I promised W that I woud follow his plan and not add ANYTHING to it. One day down...only about 140 to go...but who's counting?!?


s said...

I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it. No, it's not as fun, but you were fully capable! This is just the first day, which was the hardest. It only gets better from here lady. I want you to know that you have truly inspired me to go back to the gym. I haven't worked out in a year! I remembered how crazy I used to be. Not a single day would go by that I didn't go work out. Sometimes I would run 5 miles in the morning then go to the gym in the evening & do circuit. I'm leaving school at 4 today & going to check out gym right by school. I have to! I miss it so much. I've made up my mind & I know I'll feel better. Keep up the work lady. You are awesome. You are strong! You are my sunshine! I love you mucha!

MC said...

S, you go girl! When you put your mind to something, you're unstoppable! I hope that you go and do this for one else. You are worth taking care of. Good luck, missy! XOXO