the pain diaries: getting stronger and hungrier

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Day 490..."yEaH, i'M sTrOnGeR bUt i'M hUnGrY tOO!"

Well, I should not do Starting Strength lifts two days in a row...buuuut...I got off track and I wanted to get back on so even though I lifted just last night...I got up and did it again this morning. I expected to struggle. I was prepared to not be able go up in weight. This was not the case.

I decided to do my 1 RM on Back Squat since I did work sets last night. My previous "PR" was 165. Today I lifted 175!!! I also lifted 177.2, but my form went so crazy at the end that I didn't count it. Seriously! I am so happy about that! I moved on to Power Cleans...something I struggle with and don't like. Last week I did my 5 work sets at 87.2 lbs, and it was a challenge. Today I used 97.2 lbs and it wasn't easy, but it also was not near as hard as I expected! Then, I came back later on in the afternoon to do my bench pressing so that J could "spot" me. Actually I just needed someone to help me lift the bar off the rack to get started. Again...I did my work set with 7 lbs MORE than last week!

It may seem like, I'm holding back and not pushing myself...not so. Every time I lift, I use the most weight that I can possibly lift. I usually can barely do the last lift or press towards the end of my work sets. So, it is really amazing! Coach Rippetoe has an amazing program. So, I am really excited about the "gains" I'm making...but there's one little problem...

The problem is that I am hungry...all the time. I feel like a teenage boy! I never feel full and I am eating constantly. Because of this...I am really afraid of gaining weight. I'm not sure if I will ever be realistic and healthy when it comes to my fear of gaining weight. I am so terribly afraid of ever being fat again. So, I guess I'll have to start planning and preparing some heathy stuff to eat during the day, so that I'm not so uneasy about eating all day.

I don't say this too often...but...I am really proud of how hard I worked and how well I did in the gym today.

BACK SQUAT

-----------------

45 LBS X 10 (warm up)

65 LBS X 5

95 LBS X 3

135 LBS X 1

155 LBS X 1

170 LBS X 1

175 LBS X 1

177.2 LBS X 1 (form got all jacked up)

POWER CLEANS

---------------------

75 LBS X 3 X 2

85 LBS X 3

92.2 LBS X 3

97.2 LBS X 3 X 5

BENCH PRESS

------------------

45 LBS X 10

65 LBS X 5

85 LBS X 5

92.2 LBS X 5

97.2 LBS X 5 X 3

..............WHY?...............

This is my training log...my "workout diary" if you will. It is mostly for ME, but if it motivates someone else, that's great too! I write everday as a way of being accountable to myself. It's a way to track my progress, correct my mistakes, and a way to look back and view my day to day struggle to continue to work towards being the best possible version of myself. Sometimes, I am tired or lonely or unmotivated. Sometimes, I am "powerful beyond measure". Sometimes it is fun...easy. Other times, it is almost unbearable. I use to have my trainers to push me...but NOW I am on my own.

QUOTES THAT INSPIRE ME TO PUSH HARDER...GO FASTER...AND TRAIN LONGER

"SOME DEFINE OBSESSION AS NEGATIVE. I SAY IT'S HOW YOU GET THINGS DONE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"PAIN IS TEMPORARY. IT MAY LAST A MINUTE, OR AN HOUR, OR A DAY, OR A YEAR, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL SUBSIDE AND SOMETHING ELSE TAKES IT'S PLACE. IF I QUIT HOWEVER, IT LASTS FOREVER."

-LANCE ARMSTRONG

"TO BE TRANSFORMED BY EFFORT, ONE MUST DIG DEEP...SURPASS ONE'S EXPECTATIONS OR SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS...RISK FAILURE...BLOW UP, AND 'GET THE FULL DOSE'...IT ALWAYS HURTS YOU GO AS HARD AS YOU CAN."

-MARK TWIGHT-"GYM JONES" WEBSITE

"TO GIVE ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR BEST IS TO SACRIFICE THE GIFT."

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“PUNISH YOUR BODY TO PERFECT YOUR SOUL.”

-MARK TWIGHT

“ONLY THOSE WHO WILL RISK GOING TOO FAR CAN POSSIBLY FIND OUT HOW FAR ONE CAN GO.”

-T.S. ELIOTT

"THE BENEFITS OF FITNESS ARE NOT MERELY PHYSICAL. SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF A SERIES OF DIFFICULT, SHORT-DURATION, HIGH INTENSITY EFFORTS BUILDS SELF-ASSUREDNESS IN A WAY THAT VERY FEW OTHER ACTIVITIES CAN. TOUGH WORKOUTS THAT PUSH AN INDIVIDUAL TO THE VERY LIMIT OF HIS OR HER CAPACITIES MAY BECOME THE GATEWAY TO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. AND THAT AWARENESS OFTEN LEADS TO CONFIDENCE."

-MARK TWIGHT

"WHEN A PERSON TRAINS ONCE, NOTHING HAPPENS. WHEN A PERSON FORCES HIMSELF TO DO A THING A HUNDRED OR A THOUSAND TIMES, THEN HE CERTAINLY HAS DEVELOPED IN MORE WAYS THAN PHYSICAL. IS IT RAINING? THAT DOESN'T MATTER. AM I TIRED? THAT DOESN'T MATTER EITHER. THEN WILLPOWER WILL BE NO PROBLEM"

-EMIL ZATOPEK

"GIVE IT EVERYTHING AND LET THE CHIPS...OR WHATEVER...FALL WHERE THEY MAY. IT WON'T EVER GET EASIER, BUT YOU MIGHT GO FASTER, OR LAST LONGER."

-MARK TWIGHT

“A LOT OF PEOPLE RUN A RACE TO SEE WHO IS FASTEST. I RUN TO SEE WHO HAS THE MOST GUTS WHO CAN PUNISH HIMSELF INTO EXHAUSTING PACE, AND THEN AT THE END, PUNISH HIMSELF EVEN MORE. NOBODY IS GOING TO WIN A 5,000METER RACE AFTER RUNNING AN EASY 2 MILES. NOT WITH ME. IF I LOSE FORCING THE PACE ALL THE WAY, WELL, AT LEAST I CAN LIVE WITH MYSELF.“

-STEVE PREFONTAINE

“SUFFERING PROVIDES THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXERCISE WILL AND DEVELOP GRIT… THE MIND AND BODY ADAPT TO BOTH COMFORT AND DEPRIVATION… RELISH THE CHALLENGE OF OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES THAT WOULD CRUSH ORDINARY MEN... LEARN TO SUFFER.”

-MARK TWIGHT – excerpts from "Extreme Alpinism - Climbing Light, Fast and High"

“SOMETIMES IF YOU WANT TO BE A WINNER, YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO BEAR THE SCARS FROM THE FIGHT.”

-PETRA SALVAJE

'EACH OF US GIVES WHAT WE ARE ABLE AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILLING TO GIVE TO LIFE. HOW WE REACT WHEN OUR CAPACITY AND WILL FALL SHORT OF OUR EXPECTATIONS DETERMINES HOW WE VIEW OURSELVES...".

-MARK TWIGHT~"GYM JONES" website